A Man’s Love – Building – A Reflection

These little reflections A Man’s Love and Building were authored by Akiane kramarik between the ages of 7-11 in her book titled My Dream Is Bigger Than I – Memories of Tomorrow – Part Six Page 271 — “You will need your own copy of this book to view the full text of this poem.  I limit quotes for the purpose of discussion and to follow copyright guidelines that allows for limited quotes.”

The featured image I choose for this reflection is yours truly posing for some of my you tube work and this blog…In A Man’s Love Akiane writes…”there is too much to understand a man’s love” — Leaving out a portion of this reflection as part of building the mystery that is Akiane Kramarik and to encourage my readers to purchase your own copy of this book of prose…Also to follow copyright guidelines that allows for limited quotes for purposes of this review which is in the form of this series of reflections…In Building Akiane writes…”keep on building sand castles until you know yourself”…I left out a portion of that reflection as well…What Akiane writes is filled with eternal wisdom that transcends time and space…I agree “there is too much to understand a man’s love”…In my line of work the women who contact me are very basic and very simple in that these women tell me that all they seek is to love and to be loved in return…Sadly many women that I encounter fall in love with bad men…Men who build them up get them pregnant in the process of love bombing these women only to tear these women down so as to reduce these women to nothing but nervous wrecks alone and pregnant…I see it all the time…Sadly I too fell for a very bad man who lied to me and made me believe that he loved me only to get me pregnant then destroy me…I tell my callers that I do not understand men that I will never understand men…How certain men not all men mind you how certain men can do that to women is beyond me…In my line of work it is mostly women who have been harmed in this way by bad men…Tis true there are bad women out there too…Sadly the bad women who harm good men are not talked about because boys and men who have been horribly abused do not talk about their abuse…When boys and men are abused boys and men shut down they die inside…Boys and men experience a spiritual and emotional death that paralyzes them with fear…Men are created to be hunters and gatherers and protectors of their families…When a boy or a man is raped or abused or harmed ways their abusers terrify these boys and men and it does not matter if it is a vile woman abuser or vile male abuser is this…These horribles will threaten to destroy their families by doing terrible things to their families not limited to their immediate families but everyone known to them…This terrifies these boys and men and so they remain silent and as they age and grow up often become complicit in their own abuse by allowing this abuse to go on without saving themselves from their abusers…For their abusers have held these boys who become men captive via psychological warfare psychological abuse hell sent and hell bent on silencing these boys and men for all eternity…Sadly many boys who become men often perpetuate this vicious vile cycle of abuse and become abusive types with two sides to them…Many boys who become men who were abused develop narcissistic personality disorder and develop a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde personality disorder…Not all men damaged from abuse become abusive types that are deadly as many men who were abused are decent and simply doing their best in this shit storm world…Sadly though many men damaged from abuse perpetuate vicious cycles of abuse and go on to hurt women in horrible ways which then creates monsters…Monstrous women who are very angry they too were abused horrible women who often go on to hurt men and these men and women damaged by years of abuse often abuse their own children…It is truly awful how cycles of abuse are perpetuated in our shit storm world…This explains then why it is that mostly women call me for help and yes some men call but mostly women…Women devastated by false love from men damaged by years of abuse as boys who do not know themselves or understand how they operate and as a result engage in toxic abusive relationships with many unsuspecting women…Women from all walks of life fall for men like this because these women who are medical doctors nurse practitioners attorneys teachers who are highly educated are dumb as rocks when it comes to men…Many women like this go broke giving bad men their money their homes their everything…One Nurse Practitioner was literally driven to the brink of insanity by her medical doctor husband who in her case is narcissistic extremely dangerous and in many respects untouchable…Instead of fighting for her rights and standing up for herself this nurse practitioner is complicit in her own abuse by making matters worse by doing nothing to stop the series of events that were driving her bat shit crazy…The thing to do when dealing with narcissistic abusive types is to avoid contact as much as possible and when contact is often unavoidable to remain calm at all times to leave emotions out of the picture…For with abusive types particularly narcissistic abusive types it is never personal though deeply personal to the wife to the partner and mother of his children…A narcissistic abusive type does not give a shit about love or anything resembling holy sacrificial love…This applies to both male and female narcissistic abusive types…There are many benign narcissists who can be annoying to deal with but who would never harm a soul…The show Keeping Up Appearances comes to my mind when I think of the character Hyacinth who does a great job of showcasing what a very annoying yet very funny and very silly benign narcissist looks like…On the spectrum of narcissism sadly many fall into the dark triad of diabolical pathological narcissism…I would say this that there are demons that operate through ones with both benign and pathological narcissism…For ones with benign narcissism are often vile gossips who do untold damage as flying monkeys by spreading vile gossip about their targets…On the triad of narcissism all of it is rotten for the genesis of narcissism is one word pride which is by its very fallen nature diabolical for the devil is full of pride…If I were to describe the devil in one word it would be pride…The only way to fight evil is to understand this much…Not one of us are a match for the devil who is wicked…With this understanding humility is the opposite of pride so to combat the devil who is proud one must be humble and very small…For a show of force in the face of grave evil only serves to borrow trouble and invite more evil in…Many benign narcissists can get help for their condition and get better…Many benign narcissists have done this and by so doing were able to save their marriages and their sacred family life…All of us myself included are prone to pride and we all have narcissistic tendencies which is not all bad…It is vital to understand that pride goes before a fall…Humility drives the devil out for the devil cannot bear to be in the presence of authentic humility which is the antithesis of pride…Force only serves to borrow trouble though at times force is called for and needed particularly in times of war…Many a Navy Veteran and Military Veteran can recount stories of incredible miracles they experienced when praying as soldiers in many a foxhole…I want to add too that I do not understand how horrible women can harm good men and children…There are awful horrible beastly women out there too and this must be said…It is not fair right or just to blame just bad men there are bad women too…The reason Akiane writes “keep on building sand castles until you know yourself” is this until we know ourselves we can self destruct or sabotage ourselves from within…So that if we are not well and do sabotage ourselves a brick castle walls us in and prevents us from seeking the help we need…Sand castles are easily destroyed and rebuilt so keep doing that until you know yourself well enough to know that you will not self destruct or sabotage yourself and others…In the unfortunate Waco Texas Mr. David Koresh saga Mr. Koresh did not know himself and as a result he built a rock castle of brick and mortar and walled himself in and refused to seek help…Lots of help was available to him from the community at large but Mr. Koresh refused to avail of this help…As a result because Mr. Koresh was by all accounts a real threat a very serious threat a dangerous man who stock piled weapons…Our Government had to do something about that Waco mess…I would say this that excessive force was used by our Government forces…All the same something had to be done…Mr. Koresh was a man who should have built a sand castle until he knew himself…Sadly Mr. Koresh did not know the monster he was and that resulted in that man sabotaging himself and others setting both himself and others up to fail forcing the strong hand of our Government forces to deal with this very real threat…Mr. Koresh was a very real threat…I personally decided at a young age that because I am a hot head I have an Irish temper that I never ever wanted to learn how to use a gun or a weapon…For fear that in a moment of passion I could commit a crime of passion that I would regret for all eternity…I decided that no matter what happens to me good bad or indifferent I refuse to carry a gun or a weapon of any kind…I prefer to be killed than to kill anyone… I never want to harm a soul…I would like to share more of my story with my readers…

…Being a hot head can get you into trouble be careful what you say and how you say it…A lesson I myself had to learn…

After spending two years in Ireland learning about the problem of narcissism particularly in domestic violence cases and traveling Europe with my son…I did all of that on my own with my son…I returned to the USA and settled in Texas…I had always wanted to move South so I decided then was the time so in 2017 we moved to Texas…I was in touch with a pro life organization known nationwide and around the globe for doing good work…So in the process of being in touch with them a woman from that organization sent a man who works for them to pick both my son and I up from Houston Airport…The man did this for us and he seemed nice…He had placed water and fruit snacks in the back seat for us both which I thought was kind and very thoughtful of him…Then when we were dropped off at our destination…I simply asked could he take us to Walmart as I had to shop for supplies for my son and I…Keep in mind we had just flown for nine hours from England to Texas on a straight flight with no stops…Our flight started in Ireland but we had to stop in England to get on the big plane to Texas…So though I was weary as was my son I did not know a soul in our new home so I requested this…I offered to pay him more money for his trouble an offer he refused…The man did say that he was borrowing his parents vehicle because he was trying to get out of debt and his vehicle is old…This man is very young not sure of his exact age but very young and fairly fresh out of college…I never at any time had any interest in him…Not once did I suggest any future contact or interest in him…I rode in the back seat every time with my son…After our shopping at Walmart was done and I returned to our new home…I paid that man what was agreed and he refused any additional payment…As far as I was concerned this was done and dusted and I agreed with that man there would be no reason to call him again…I did however place one or two calls his way first to thank him for his kindness and also to offer more payment since I know he is trying to get out of debt…After that I did not under any circumstances call him for a thing…Time passed and I kept in touch with this pro life charity for a time with the woman whom I got to meet with whom I had kept in touch with over the years…She kept asking me not to call their employee who gave us the ride when we first settled in…I was confused by this and asked the woman am I supposed to be calling him? Because I am not calling him…She replied no just that he keeps asking her to tell me not to call him…The woman also told me that this man was complaining about me at their charity office that I was too demanding and other stuff that was not nice…I was taken aback and very surprised by that…During that time I had launched a go fund me page because I was hoping to raise funds to ship my dog from Ireland to the USA…This was before the Covid-19 pandemic hit the world stage…During that time I received a few donations and one of the donors was that awful man from that charity…I had told the woman that I did not want a donation from him because he was awful to me and was already complaining about me behind my back…I asked that woman to tell that man not to donate to my go fund me page but he donated anyway against my wishes…It was very odd…I then decided to close my go fund me page and to allow the couple in Ireland to keep our dog which they were overjoyed to be able to do…I then offered refunds to all of my donors including that awful man who refused to reply…The records show though that I acted in good faith which is what matters most by offering refunds to my donors…One day I had purchased tickets to go to a large water park and entertainment park with my son…The tickets were not cheap and I realized that I was too sick to go with my son to that park…So I contacted the woman whom I met from that charity to request permission to go to their office to give them those tickets as a donation that they could sell for money for their charity…She was fine with that so off I went to their office…I was greeted by a former abortion doctor…A Black man who used to do abortions but stopped doing abortions and is now trying to do some good for pro life purposes…That man proceeded to glare at me with racist vile hatred…I was horrified and in a state of shock..Here I was ready to donate expensive tickets they could sell and that awful man glared at me and told me that I had issues with his staff before…To which I replied that is crap I have never been to your office…I said one of your male employees attacked me by verbally molesting me behind my back that is the issue I had and I had to correct him for that…I said you come along and glare at me and show me vile hatred I said that is very racist of you…I said you are a racist you hate white people who are indigenous and Irish like me…I said you then glare at me and tell me you do not want my donation…I suppose my donation is not good enough for you…I said I never had an abortion I never murdered a holy innocent child via abortion…I said unlike you sir I never made money from bloodletting…I said you are racist against black babies and white babies and hispanic babies and asian babies and all babies…I said you murdered many babies for a price which is racist against little babies…Then you glare at me and treat me like trash making me feel unwelcome…I said you never took into consideration that I came here all the way from Ireland to see if I could help your charity and this is the thanks I get…A spit in the face by a piece of shit like you…I said you are not fit to tie my shoes you are not good enough for me…I am small not much at all just a hated single mother a single mother whose baby you would have aborted for a price…I said I never murdered a child and certainly not my own unborn child therefore I am above you and I am better than you…I said you do not deserve a damn thing from me and you lost my respect…I do not respect swamp scum who murder babies for money…Though you do not do that anymore you most certainly show me a single mother due to rape no damn respect or consideration or concern…I told that awful man and his charity that I wipe the dust off my little feet in testimony against him in the mystical sense that I was treated horribly with no damn respect at all…I do not deserve to be hated like that but hated I am for being a single mother for being Irish for being indigenous for being a person with special needs for being a person with a disability…I am hated for so many damn things I lost count…I was raped by a black man so I know what it is like to be hated for being white…I never hated a soul the way I have been hated my whole small stupid shit storm life…I have since filed extensive complaints citing the Americans with Disabilities Act that is in place by our Government to protect persons with Disabilities…I filed complaints with Attorney Generals offices and with the CFPB to name a few…I named all of these who were vicious to me who sought to cause me harm by compromising my mental health so as to push me over the edge the weekend I yelled at the fraud alert company for excessive fraud alerts and restrictions…I have established that at the time those events occurred that I was already under duress..A duress caused by abuse done by three different 501c(3) charities…Abuse done by my medical clinic whereby a nurse practitioner refused to examine my index finger for a bad nail bed infection that prompted me to file a report to the Texas Medical Board of Nursing and to demand to be seen by a board certified medical doctor…At the time of that awful experience I did not have health insurance…I now do have full health insurance…The hatred and abuse I got is unreal…On top of that I was abused by more than one law firm who refused to help me to file my chapter seven bankruptcy something I managed to do myself with the help of http://www.upsolve.org — I was abused by an awful woman who set her dog on my dog which almost killed my puppy…I had to get help from a friend to pay for the vet costs to get my puppy better from that horrible dog on dog attack…Due to being so ill I ended up returning my dog to it’s owners and my dog has since been placed on a very large ranch…My God the awful woman whose much larger dog attacked my puppy refused to pay for the vet costs and get this that bitch is a vet student she is studying to become a vet tech…Her sister also works as vet tech and is a bitch on wheels…Many women are horrible bitches on steroids or bitches on wheels I have dealt with more than my fair share of awful horrible women…I have had to contend with awful people on my own with no help for a long time now…What forced me to get into debt was as follows… In December of 2019 I had to move it was an emergency move…Due to awful bullying behavior from staff members at the apartment complex I rent an apartment from…A horrible couple a husband and wife tried to undermine and destroy me and some staff members were in co-hoots with this…The abuse I got was so bad that I had to involve local police…Who told me that a staff member was recording footage on their cell phone in a vile effort to publicly shame me so as to bully me more and set me up for more abuse so as to cause me bodily harm…These acts were egregious and very serious…My God one woman on staff would ask me how things were going with the uber driver a man whose wife worked at the property I rented at…My God I had to put that bitch in her place many times telling her that her line of questioning was out of line…I had to file a complaint with upper management who let me out of my two years lease…Though I was sick I had to move my stuff into temporary storage clean the apartment myself so as to leave it spotless to avoid bogus charges that I left the apartment unclean…I had to stay in a hotel with my son for a few days then move into my new place then get my stuff out of storage…It was a nightmare…I had to get help from a friend to pay for the hotel stay…I had to borrow from pay day lending companies to pay for my emergency move…At the time of my emergency move my FICA score which is my credit score was above 700…In less than one year my FICA Credit score dropped to less than 400…I then had to get horrible creditors off my back by filing complaints and obtaining cease and desist orders…The collection activities were so aggressive that I had to ask one lending company to tell their nasty employee to return to my apartment and remove a note that was placed by my door as that was in violation of CDC guidelines falling under an unnecessary visit category…During that time the awful couple who tried to access me for abuse so as to undermine me moved and relocated…They no longer work at that property…I understand that couple tried to destroy me to access my disability by potentially capturing me and placing me in a hostage situation…I shit you not…Couples and horrible people do this all the time…I managed to get the nasty creditors off my back…I had to contend with a lot of bull shit over the past year…I continue to trust my God as I understand God to be who allows things to happen to good people for reasons that are beyond me…I do know this much that the God of life brings good out of awful experiences…So I continue to stand on the word of God so that what was said of me before the day of my birth will be fulfilled according to the word of God…Heaven help us all…As a thank you for reading this reflection enjoy my Celine Dion Moments Playlist and my Jokes Section on You Tube…For those of us who believe in the power of prayer I ask prayer for my beloved elderly Aunt Mary who was hospitalized recently for a collapsed lung…I also ask your continued prayers for me your little blogger for my continued well being and for strength to keep standing up to nasty giants such as corporate bullies who need to stop picking on little people like me…I have been through the mill but through it all I am getting stronger and better every day and like so many others I too have learned many lessons along the way…To avoid conflict when possible and to always be calm so as to avoid becoming so elevated that you say things that you regret saying for all eternity…Many today refuse to forgive the weak and many also never let us forget our frail mistakes…I will never let the wicked who seek to destroy me forget for all eternity who and what I am which is this…An indigenous very small little feisty Irish mammy from the tribe of Dan who is not one bit ashamed to own my indigenous heritage…

…………Namaste…………

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