Dry Waiting – Who You Are – A Reflection

These little reflections Dry Waiting and Who You Are were authored by Akiane kramarik between the ages of 7-11 in her book titled My Dream Is Bigger Than I – Memories of Tomorrow – Part Six Page 268 — “You will need your own copy of this book to view the full text of this poem.  I limit quotes for the purpose of discussion and to follow copyright guidelines that allows for limited quotes.”

The featured image I choose for this reflection is a random pose for no reason at all for my you tube channel…Very Forrest Gump style…As I write I am listening to Celine Dion Songs which inspire me…This song is called I’m Alive…Do not fear my readers I will not dare try to sing like Celine Dion though in my dreams I dream that I could sing like Celine Dion…My word that lady sure can sing…With my humble small voice my alto voice I accept that I cannot sing like Celine Dion and that’s ok…I will not put my readers and you tube listeners through the trauma of this little small alto voice trying to sing like Celine Dion…Tis true I do indeed have many Celine Dion moments through out my days…In Dry Waiting Akiane writes…”Dirt was all over you” — “Your washed out clothes hung dry for days”…Leaving out a small portion of that reflection as part of building the mystery that is Akiane Karmarik and to encourage my readers to purchase your own copy of Akiane’s amazing book of prose…Also, to follow copyright guidelines that allows for limited quotes for purposes of this review which is in the form of a series of reflections…In Who You Are Akiane writes…”Who you are is what you become.” I left out a portion of that reflection as well…I have a story I would like to share that is part of my story…My life has been full of many blessings that I am truly very grateful for…Yet in many respects my life has also been one shit storm after another…Just when I begin to hope that my circumstances will improve every time without fail my hope is always consistently dashed against a stone…A stone of indifference a stone of pride a stone of hatred a stone of malice and a stone of systemic and categorical abuse that I endured for years this is my story…

Ways the banking system is hostile towards individual bank account holders and debit bank card users and small time debtors which is the category I fall into…

I mentioned that I need to file for a chapter seven bankruptcy due to serious financial strain a financial strain not unique to me…With the help of upsolve.org I was able to successfully prepare my own petition so as to file my own chapter seven bankruptcy…I took the required course that the Federal Government asks debtors to take prior to filing a chapter seven bankruptcy…I got my completion certificate for that course done and dusted and my petition is now ready to file…I decided to retain a bankruptcy attorney who is very bright and his pricing is reasonable for the kind of bankruptcy that I need to file which is very straightforward with no assets to protect and no collateral to worry about my bankruptcy is very simple…My life has taken a downward spiral financially speaking and my credit is in the toilet…My credit score went from over a 700 FICA Score to less than 400 in less than a year due to nasty lending policies that provides no grace for debtors like me who have no collateral to use so as to obtain a debt consolidation loan…I tried to consolidate my debts into a more manageable debt consolidation loan that would enable me to pay off my debts and make a more manageable one time monthly payment…A product like that does not exist when you have no collateral such as a home or a car or land or something of value to borrow against for larger loans…Though my FICA score was over 700 no bank would help me with a simple straight forward debt consolidation loan…As a result I made payments on all of my loans in my good faith effort to get out of debt…I did fall behind on my payments and that is when the shit storm of scumbag creditors started blowing up my phone…I had to work hard but on my own with no help I got these bastards to cease and desist calling me because they refused to listen to a word I had to tell them and all they were doing was harassing the piss out of me hell bent on destroying my mental health…I then filed a complaint against one of these lending companies and the collection company they sold my loan to who were so fucking aggressive that these fuckers blew up my phone with a phone call from a so called locator company trying to locate me which was bullshit as it is established that all of these fuckers know where I live…Then a law firm contacted me and whether or not they are actually a law firm remains to be seen…This so called debt collection law firm told me that I was being served with papers for fraud…I replied if this is the case then that is very serious and that would go on public records and the fact that you see fit to serve me papers would also be a matter of public record…I said do tell me then what district this case was filed in…The Northern or Southern District? — Under what jurisprudence to the letter of the law did you file such papers? I also asked do tell me please the brick and mortar address of this building that said case was filed under since you see fit to provide me with a case number then I have to right to request this open public record…I also stated that until I got these phone calls that I was denied due process that I was not informed this was going on…I also offered to pay three dollars to show that I am not a fraud but I am broke that’s all…I further stated that being broke is not a crime last time I checked…I also put it on them that it is fraud and an act of terror to lie to debtors with false claims and false threats…That shut them up very fast…I requested their mailing address for correspondence purposes and these cunts refused me their mailing address…Well I got their mailing address after I filed a formal complaint with the CFPB which is the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau a government agency that is very helpful for small consumers like you and I…I got their mailing address they are out of Florida and are so full of shit it comes out of their eyes ears noses and mouths…I received a very apologetic written reply from these shit heads that this debt will be written off and that no further action would be taken in my regard…I also got a written apology from the original lending company…The only way to get the devil to behave is to bitch slap that motherfucker and push him around and make him behave…One has to put pressure on swamp scum to force them to behave…That is what the CFPB does for consumers…It is a wonderful Government website and is there for the little ones like you and I to use…After getting scumbag debt collectors off my back I was exhausted and still getting over feeling ill from taking Terbinafine for two months…On the weekend of August 1st and August 2nd the weekend of my 48th birthday…A weekend I prefer to forget about as it was the worst birthday weekend of my small life…I had just gotten my modest monthly funds with which to pay bills and grocery shop etc…In the process of trying to order groceries for delivery my stupid bank card kept declining and I kept getting fraud alert texts asking me is this purchase a fraud yes or no…I tried to text my reply that yes this purchase is fine and not a fraud but the stupid system failed to accept my text saying that my text failed to send…Which was beyond bizarre as I have full phone service on my phone…This obliged me to then call the phone number provided which launched a series of events that drove me bat shit crazy…After waiting on hold for ages on end pressing different numbers for different options…By the time I got through to a call center I felt like I was being punished for nothing…I was told there is no fraud on your bank card and no restrictions either and to go ahead and use my bank card…I would hang up and try to use my bank card only to discover it kept declining…This madness of me calling and getting the same bullshit answers went on for two days…This drove me mad…I was fucking angry because the funds were there I was very sick and could not get out and my son and I only had oatmeal to eat that weekend…I was planning on getting groceries but could not due to this bullshit…The amount of energy it took for me to get my stupid bank card to work was a nightmare…I only use one bank account and one bank card because I live a very simple life…The situation was escalated by a horrible woman at the USA call center that took me ages to get through to on the phone…A woman who told me my card was working and then told me that I was like a hamster in a cage going around in circles…She told me she could not lift the restriction…So to prove a point I had to walk on a sore leg due to being sick and other health problems I had to drag my ass out to a local merchant who agreed to allow me to try to us my bank card and to call that fraud alert phone number…I did this and only then after me putting pressure on them at the local merchant store did they lift the excessive ridiculous restriction that was there for no reason at all…I did this to prove that the staff were lying to me the whole time and did not want to help me at all…In fact nothing was done to help me…As a direct result of this abuse I became elevated and very angry…I then said terrible things under duress…I was under serious duress I could not feed my boy anything other than boring oatmeal though the funds were there for me to grocery shop for my boy I could not access my own funds…I was livid extremely angry that I was being abused in this way and treated horrible by awful staff who do not give a shit about small people like me and my child…These fuckers could care less if I starved and dropped dead in fact I feel very strongly that the powers behind the banking industry are hostile powers that are cruel and merciless powers…Pure fucking evil and I will say it since few are willing to say it…I will shout it from the roof tops…I quickly realized after I hung up that things I said could get me into some serious hot water or trouble…I contacted the local police department where I live in my local area and filed a complaint against the fraud alert company that my mental health was so compromised due to the fact that my bank card was messed with and not working right though no fraud was present that I lost it and in a moment of weakness a moment of emotional intensity I said terrible things that I regret saying and that I am sorry I ever said them…My report was filed and the officer was very kind…She said little Ms. you cannot say those things but we do understand that you sometimes say things you do not mean…I replied yes Officer and I am very sorry I said those things and I want this to go on record that I experienced this and said things I regret…I no sooner had hung up with the local police department when I got a call from a man who works security for the state of Texas for that very large fraud detection company…He told me that he could have me arrested for things I said…I replied no sir you cannot have me arrested and here’s why…In a very gentle and apologetic manner I made sure to tell that man how sorry I was for things I said that I did not mean…That due to excessive fraud alerts and restrictions placed on my bank card rendering my bank card not fit for purpose and the incompetence of the staff who failed to help me and the amount of energy I had to put into getting excessive restrictions removed from my bank card set me off…I told that man that my mental health suffered due to this and that I myself just got off the phone with the local police department to report that this happened and that I am truly sorry for things I said in a situation that should not have caused such an elevation in me so as to give such an angry response…I stated that it was an abuse done by serious mistakes by the Fraud alert company that set me up to fail and to blow a gasket and say stupid crazy shit I never meant…To his credit the security man gave me a voice and reassured me that no charges would be pressed against me for arrest…I let the local police department know of these series of events as they occurred including the conversation I had with that security man who was decent and being diligent…Some time passed then an employee who does outsourcing for the fraud detection company contacted me and I have texts as evidence that this company apologized to me for the ordeal I was put through on a weekend when my bank was closed for business and I could not access my own funds for groceries etc…An offer was made to provide me with reasonable compensation for time lost from work due to this mess and for two purchases that I was coerced into making due to the fact that my bank card was not working right…This company seemed amenable to some form of compensation and stated they would get back to me very soon…Then days passed and I heard nothing…Then On September 8th 2020…I entered a large branch of the bank I presently bank with…My God the atmosphere was very tense and hostile…The staff refused to help me and made it clear that I was no longer welcome at this bank…At the time I entered that branch which was after 9 am in the morning…I was not aware that my own bank had made the choice to take a hostile stance towards me…So much so that the staff were viciously rude…Thanks be to God I retreated from the bank counter and contacted a woman known to me who opened up my original bank account who is decent for help…I had to ask her to call that branch and ask someone there to help me…She did this for me and was very apologetic too that I was experiencing this and she herself did not understand what the hell was going on at that branch…A woman was told to help me and the woman who was searching for me acted stupid like she did not know what she was doing or who to look for…I was very easy to find because her desk was right ahead of me…I had to speak first and ask her if her name was so and so…The name provided me by the woman on the phone who was helping me…That bitch proceeded to put on in my presence black gloves that looked like black garbage bag material…She proceeded to glare at me and make mock sweeping gestures for me to follow her to her desk…My God that bitch glared at me with seething hatred…I had learned my lesson not to allow swamp scum to attach themselves to my emotions so as to incite me to an elevated state whereby I could become angry and say things I regret…I knew right then and there that I had walked into an entrapment scenario that this was a hostile environment done on purpose with intent to do great harm to me had I said or done anything untoward…This was a fucking diabolical set up to incite in me an angry response…Thanks be to God I had the other bank employee on the phone who stayed on the phone with me while I got the help I needed…I told that bitch that I would wait in a separate area for my confirmation receipt…That bitch proceeded to get up and spray the seat I was in with fucking disinfectant spray and glared at me like I was a fucking virus…I shit you not that bitch has another thing coming to her…She will not get away with that…I remained calm and asked another employee who was walking past me to please obtain for me my confirmation receipt…She obliged with a smile and I thanked her kindly…Then the other bitch who once I was seated away from her proceeded to remove the black gloves and type and to glare at me then ignored me as if I did not exist…Once I obtained my confirmation receipt…That bitch came up to me this time without her black gloves and proceeded to violate social distancing CDC guidelines and thumbed through my papers and was breathing down my neck…She then said that she would “escort me out because she did not want me to walk around the building.” That cunt was literally breathing down my neck and proceeded to use threatening body language and speech by saying that she has loved ones who died from Covid-19…That cunt seemed to enjoy terrorizing me and proceeded to say “I am putting you out into the pouring rain.” It was pouring rain then…At no time did that swamp scum bitch show any care or concern for my well being and by her actions she was in violation of CDC social distancing guidelines and she sent me a clear message though she did not say it her body language and actions sure as hell said it. That she hopes that I get Covid-19 and drop dead…I shit you not that is how I was treated that day…I was in shock shock horror and had no idea what the hell was going on…Later that afternoon I received a voicemail from the lady who knows me at the branch I originated my bank account in…She asked me to call her back I did this and in a very sincere and apologetic tone of voice told me that upper level management is force closing my bank account…I was gobsmacked and in a state of shock…The fraud alert company that is hired by the bank I bank with released those sensitive phone calls to my bank…This then triggered retaliation from my bank which was done in a very evil and underhanded manner so as to set me up to fail…I was terrified and in tears…To top it off I got another call from yet another security man from the fraud alert company who to his credit gave me a voice and allowed me to email him my detailed experience reports and the series of events that have only served to escalate this matter further…He agreed with me and after I answered some of his basic questions…He was the only one out of all of these swamp scum shit heads to think to ask if both my son and I were ok…No one else thought to ask me that…He reassured me verbally that there would be no more trouble for me…I said look I have acted in good faith by apologizing both verbally and in writing for my part in this mess for stupid things I said under duress. I asked would you put what you tell me here in writing…He replied not likely then ended the call…I tell you this because the way I was treated was vicious absolutely horrid and cruel and merciless as well…I then proceeded to file a series of complaints with the CFPB against both my bank and this fraud alert company citing ways the banking industry is hostile to their own bank account holders and debit card users…My hope is that I will get a sincere heartfelt apology from both my bank and that fraud alert company for serious mistakes made by them that triggered the series of events that forced my hand to file formal complaints on that government website…If I was a terrible person up to no good…I would not have contacted the local police department to file my own report…Neither would I entrust my formal complaint through a government website if I was a bad person up to no good…I share my story with the world on my blog because it is a fucking bat shit crazy shit storm out there…If I failed to advocate for myself in an effective manner my small life can be destroyed over night by the aggressive and pure evil horrid banking industry that loves to hate little ones like me by chewing us up and spitting us out like pieces of chewing gum…By the time this matter is investigated I am confident that the employee who violated CDC guidelines so as to do me wrong or do me in and cause me serious harm will be dealt with…It is a serious prosecutable crime to purposely violate CDC social distancing guidelines so as to cause the one targeted to contract Covid-19…I was able to establish that I acted under duress with no intent to harm or cause harm…I was also able to establish clear intent to harm on the part of my nasty swamp scum bank…Also that the fraud alert company set me up for more serious harm though on the part of the fraud alert company I make no claim that intent to harm was evident…Though intent to cause me and my child serious harm is evident on the part of my scumbag bank…Many today do not like correction or being told when they are in the wrong…Heaven help us all…

Stay Tuned I will update this blog as to the outcome of this series of events…

As a thank you for reading this reflection enjoy my song titled true grit…I tell you this tis true grit that gets me through many a shit storm…

…………True Grit — I do not have much but I got true grit…………

https://vimeo.com/user29135762/download/284379901/2c3d80f256?fbclid=IwAR07FOaKIML96pBtqXIXSLL7Wobrb-9bo8XZr-99YB7u0drWdHXt345dw7Q – Download this Vimeo Footage of my rescue from Croagh Patrick in 2017 in Ireland…

…………Namaste…………