I Cannot – A Reflection

This poem titled I Cannot was authored by Akiane kramarik at age 11 in her book titled My Dream Is Bigger Than I – Memories of Tomorrow – Part Four Page 206 “You will need your own copy of this book to view the full text of this poem.  I limit quotes for the purpose of discussion and to follow copyright guidelines that allows for limited quotes.”

This poem I Cannot consists of six stanzas with two lines each…The featured image I choose for this reflection is of yours truly myself after purchasing some fun brightly colored new clothes…I will now quote from Akiane’s poem…Each stanza opens with the same two words…”I cannot”…I love when Akiane does this with her prose…”I cannot talk to fire—it back talks in flames”…Leaving out most of this poem…I continue to quote this amazing eleven year old girl…”I cannot enter a palace in my rags—only love is royal”…”I cannot light up the whole world—It is already burning”…Wow this is profound…You know through my blog my readers are getting to know me the woman behind this blog…I will share with my readers more of my humanity the things that make me human and frail…Most days I feel like an old fart after all I am 47 years of age soon to be 48 in August…I have been very ill lately too needing to change my diet and rest often due to chronic pain from toxic stress…There are times when I do feel like I have nothing left to live for and I do question how it is that I am still alive when others from much better homes and nicer lives have passed away before me…There are times I feel envy and jealousy for the dead…For those who died have passed away and no longer have to deal with the drama called life which for people like me is nothing but one fucking bullshit storm after another…What preserves me from self harm such as suicide which is always something to watch for in people who suffer from chronic pain and toxic stress…What preserves me is this…I learned how to cope…This is huge…Tis true that my life has been very hard for many years…Tis true that I have lived through many a shit storm…I am Christian in my core belief and values and I do not believe in violence or blood letting…Therefore while I continue my own incredible journey of eternity full of ups and downs joys and sorrows….I refuse to betray myself my very core for at the core of my being beneath the bitter tears beneath my many sorrows…Beneath all of these emotions lies a lion a female lion a Christian woman of God who though very frail and delicate these days refuses to betray her self…I refuse to become unto myself a Judas Iscariot…I refuse to betray who and what I am which is a Christian woman of the God of life…No matter how hard it gets for me I refuse to blood let I refuse to self harm I refuse to betray who and what I am at the core the center of my being…I realize I am not much and that many who hate me want me dead…Envy can kill and those who envy me hate me by their vile envy and as such want me dead…Jealously is very ugly and vile and envy greed and lust can and does kill…Those full of envy greed and lust are avaricious in their loathings and ones like that often loathe themselves and sabotage everything they touch and everything around them…Many people like that are vicious horrible snakes in the grass who in the process of betraying others betray themselves their very core of their being…This self betrayal comes from self loathing self hatred and destroys these snakes in the grass from the inside and outside whose spirits change from holy innocence which is angelic in nature to unholy ungodly demonic fallen angel spirits and these ones are the devil’s own…Two thirds of humanity are lost to the devil himself and one third of humanity are Christians who are in serious danger of being wiped off the face of the earth by covert operations done by covert satanic operatives…Many who serve the devil are not self aware they do not know themselves or who and what they have become…Agents of the devil are many who hide behind diabolical pride in the form of narcissism and role play whereby role reversals take place when ravening wolves in sheep’s clothing pretend to be hurt and pretend to have empathy but in reality are not victims at all…Many wicked ones are expert in their dark arts their craft of playing the victim and demonizing decent people or anyone who opposes them…For example…Have you ever become elevated or upset about something and find yourself being accused of yelling when though you are livid you know you are not yelling…Then the accuser proceeds to glare at you and in a calm steely angry tone of voice states “I’m sorry you feel that way”…My God it is vicious what ravening wolves in sheep’s clothing do to their victims of profane laws and profane policies…What you do when dealing with the wicked is as follows…Tell them that you will live stream that whole conversation to show the world that you are being falsely accused of yelling because the accuser who is the devil lives in the ones accusing you of yelling…State further that if that person fails to cease and desist abusing their positions of authority hiding behind profane policies and laws and falsely accusing you of being untoward that you will sue their pants off for harassing behavior of the lowest order…That if this banality is not stopped that you will establish in a court of law with hard evidence ways their profane policies and laws are filling you the aggrieved party with toxic stress which could result in your death…That due to banal profane policies and laws that do not allow victims of such criminal banal laws to express themselves without being accused of things they are not doing such as yelling…That your blood pressure has been adversely affected which could result in a massive heart attack or heart failure due to toxic stress…Document everything involve local law enforcement as well as well checks…Get records of every well check visit and blood pressure records to produce in a court of law ways horrible people hide behind profane laws and policies and whose banal vile behaviors is causing toxic stress in you and others around these beastly people…I tell you this because I had to do this many times…Horrible people who want you dead shut up very fast when you call them out on this and when you state clearly that death’s door is fast approaching for many of us…Ask these beastly people do you know where you are going when you die? Or to whom you return when you die?…As for me I know where I am going when I die and that my death unlike the deaths of many lost sheep will not be eternal…That upon my death I will be granted vengeance a vengeance that I will deal with a mighty blow with the armies of heaven to whom my eternal soul shall return…Vengeance is not mine on earth for no justice exists on earth only dark lies and deceit in a world full of madness and hate…Vengeance will be mine upon my death and subsequent return like Valkyrie the myth as part of the loud cry for Justice Justice Justice…I express this as a work of art a mere opinion nothing more and nothing less…Death has no sting when you are an authentic Christian…I know not when or how I shall die…I do know that upon my death my eternal soul will never die and vengeance will be mine in the form of the eternal vengeance dealt by the armies of heaven…I am not meant to fight in this life…I am meant to be a mystical prayer warrior to summon all of heaven to act at the appointed time known only to the God of life…Not known to me or any mortal on earth…I will tell you about a conversation I had with one of my callers from my part time job…This woman needs professional help…I must say this I have to say this based on my experiences…The ones calling me seeking help due to dark arts around them including voodoo black magic witchcraft and energy shifting and energy manipulation dark arts are black women…I am not racist I myself was raped by a black man…I birthed a black man’s child…A child I love very much…So shut the fuck up shut your fucking mouths when discussing me…I am not racist at all…Women who abort their own babies are racist against their own race…I see it all the time…I get calls from mostly black women who say and I quote “I’m getting rid of this baby”…”Is my man or POI whose baby I’m about to kill via legalized abortion.” “Tell me is he cheating on me with other women?” My God I tell you this because I get these kinds of calls a lot…When I hear words of death spoken through the mouths of horrible women from hearts black as coal nothing to do with skin color mind you…I feel a heaviness draining my energy…This is what I say to these lost sheep women most of whom are black who call me…Management advises us not to focus on dark energy…I tell these women of the beast the following…What you speak what you say to me is dark energy…I feel my energy draining because you tell me you are about to blood let through legal profane laws via cruel and merciless dark powers your own holy innocent unborn child…I proceed to state it is against our policies to focus on or discuss dark energy…I am obliged to end this call right now and to advise you to never ever call me again…I cannot help the criminally insane who focus only on themselves who love only themselves and who hate with demonic force the men with whom they lie and their own unborn children…I let the word of God convict these ones for “mankind shall become lovers of themselves”…Mankind has become lovers of only themselves…These women hang up on me very quickly when I cut them off at the quick…The truth is still the truth even when it is silent via the silent cries of unborn children…Astaroth blood letting women cannot be helped they are too far gone totally lost…I have no sympathy for astaroth blood letting women and men who demand empathy and sympathy though their children die and are shown no empathy or sympathy…When a woman tells me that she elected to have an abortion with no coercion or force…I respond as follows…Your poor baby your poor child how could you do that to your own child? You betrayed your own child…You waged a bloody war on your own womb your own child…Do what now? You expect my sympathy my loyalty my empathy? Fuck no! Fuck off! and Fuck you astaroth bitch! Tis bitches like you that molest women like me with your filthy hate speech that demonizes pro life women and men behind our backs…You fucking snake in the grass you cheap piece of ass…What the fuck does the likes of you want from me? You want my empathy my tears my sorrow my comfort…Fuck no!!! You bitch shed no tears the day you choose to blood let your own baby…My tears are reserved for your baby the babies you murdered you murderous cheap whore…In my keeping are the silent screams of your unborn child destroyed on a whim…In my keeping are the silent terrors and screams and tears of your aborted children…You terrorist scum you piece of shit you bitch you whore you are a war pig and you call your own unborn child a war pig too then you want to cry on my shoulders??? Come again…You snake in the grass…My heal will crush you and your ilk at the appointed time with the armies of heaven your reward for your banality your blood letting crimes…Come again you wicked bitch…Leave women and men like me the fuck alone and return to the den from whence you came…For I am woman a female lion hear me roar…Fuck off fuck you and no I have no sympathy for cheap blood letting whores like you…I let the word of God convict for all eternity these banal lost sheep…Roman catholics are the worst these lost sheep love to say “don’t judge lest you be judged”…I reply as follows…Are you suggesting we remove all judges from our courts of law and order? Seriously must we now remove all judges so as to no longer have law and order? My God they want to remove our police force and now you catholics demand no judgement either? I tell you what that shuts them up fast…I then add to this…I do not judge or condemn you that is not my job or my place…You bring judgement and condemnation upon yourself by your profane banal acts…I have a mind to wear a judge wig like the crazy theatrical wigs worn in Britain in courts of law and to carry a gavel around with me to return to those whose banal laws and profane policies make a mockery of law and order…I return the favor and with an air of mystery and mystical unearthly authority…I bang my gavel on the nearest rock and declare with a loud cry I let the word of God convict these wicked lost sheep for their banality their unjust laws and disorder and vast destruction of all that is holy sacred and good…Tis very satisfying to do that and theatrical too in the theater of life gone mad and horribly wrong on earth thanks to profane banal laws and policies…And catholics and protestants and all seven churches demand “no judgement” in this life…Judgement will fall in the next life with a mighty blow and no one will stand…The time will come when all mortal flesh will be silenced for the children of the vineyard of the seed of mankind are no more…As a thank you for reading this reflection enjoy my song titled Iron Maiden addressing astaroth women and their men…And my other song titled Modern Slave which transcends religion race color and creed…I Cannot save lost sheep neither can you…I also added my newest song titled Dream Lover from my creative writing piece titled Dream Lover…I can be cheeky too…Who Knew???…………Namaste………..

…………Dream Lover – I can be very cheeky too!!!…Who Knew???………...
…………Modern Slave – transcends religion race color and creed…Bad hair is on purpose for this performance…………
…………Iron Maiden – Warning strong language used adults only please…………