The Divine Wrinkle – A Reflection

This poem titled The Divine Wrinkle was authored by Akiane kramarik at age 11 in her book titled My Dream Is Bigger Than I – Memories of Tomorrow – Part Four Page 204 “You will need your own copy of this book to view the full text of this poem.  I limit quotes for the purpose of discussion and to follow copyright guidelines that allows for limited quotes.”

This poem The Divine Wrinkle consists of four stanzas with three lines each…The featured image I choose for this reflection is of a music piece that was created as a work of art…I found this work of art for pennies on the euro in Ireland at a local charity shop in the village I lived in for two years…I will now quote from Akiane’s poem…”An ant is waiting for a puddle to dry up the whole day” Leaving out the rest of this amazing poem I now quote the last stanza…”I breathe in the first snowflake and feel a divine wrinkle”…In the eyes of the proud in the eyes of the conceited many of us myself included are viewed as nothings but ants or locusts to be crushed on a whim…I say this because the unborn child has been reduced to nothing but a mere opinion to be destroyed at the whim of hearts and minds…I will now share more of my story with my readers…In the past fifteen years new terminology has surfaced and in the past twenty years knowledge has increased on an exponential level on ways horribly wicked people destroy the human being from the inside out…Terms such as narcissism toxic shame and toxic stress…I have discussed narcissism on my blog and toxic shame which are terms I had to come to terms with during my recent two years living in Ireland…The purpose of my return to Ireland which is my homeland was with the hope that I could through my Aunt Sheila a roman catholic nun reconnect with extended family and friends so that my son could meet some of his relatives…That never happened…In fact prior to my return to Ireland I was threatened by my Aunt Sheila and her mother superior to and I quote that mother superior now…”Think long and hard before I returned to Ireland.”…My God what a terrible thing to say to me and certainly not a warm welcome…My cousin John did the same thing he married my cousin Mary who is not a blood relative but is related to my family through adoption…My late uncle John and his wife Winnie adopted four children and Mary is one of those four…Mary married John and together they have four daughters…Mary is very narcissistic extremely proud and in fact Mary suffers from a major inferiority complex so severe that the only way Mary sees herself as being valuable is via wealth money power and status…Mary is a social worker and she works for Tusla in Ireland…Prior to my most recent return to Ireland in my early twenties I visited Ireland by myself as a very single young lady…Back then I received a very warm welcome and I stayed with Sheila at her convent in Dublin where I was given the privilege of being allowed to use the mother superior’s room who was gone during the time of my stay in my twenties…When I visited Mary and her husband John and family their children were very little then as they were a new younger couple…Mary was extremely snotty snobbish and went so far as to state that her class in terms of wealth and status is far superior to my class simply because I have always lacked wealth and status…I was speaking to Mary about upstate New York which is the area I was living in and working in during the time of my visit to Ireland…I was fresh out of college myself and working hard…When discussing the area Mary boasted about visiting a very wealthy family in that area and further stated and I quote Mary now…”oh you would not know of such a place because you are beneath their status and that is a wealthy area”…My God the hatred in Mary was palpable I will never forget that particular encounter…Mary forget’s that my uncle adopted her and I do not know if Mary ever figured out or learned who her birth mother and father really were…That is between Mary and her birth circumstances…My uncle John and his lovely wife Winnie made Mary a part of our tribe a part of our family through Christian adoption via open hearts and minds on the parts of John and Winnie may they both rest in peace….My uncle John and Winnie made Mary the woman she is today and my uncle John handed over his insurance business that he worked very hard on for years through very humble beginnings such as by riding his bike to houses in Ireland to sell insurance and also to comfort families who lost loved ones in tragedies over the years such as car crash accidental deaths…My uncle John was well liked and respected in his line of work and Winnie the same in her line of work…Mary would be nothing without my uncle John and auntie Winnie…Yet Mary sat there and boasted about being above me in terms of wealth and status because Mary has a severe inferiority complex…I was not impressed with Mary’s boasting because the day Mary dared to boast to me about her wealthy circumstances she was sitting in a house purchased by my Uncle John for my grandma my uncle John’s mother before she passed away years before…So sitting comfortable from the charity of my tribe my lineage the father of Christianity the tribe of Dan through the goodness and kind hearts of my late uncle John and auntie Winnie…Mary was very proud and exceedingly bold with me…You see I was never much I never had much and tis true wealth was something I was never meant to have…My father used to tell me as a young girl growing up and I quote my father now…”If you have your health you have your wealth…Wealth is not measured in simple money property goods and status and power…There is more to wealth than those things…Our children are our true inheritance our true lineage for when we die we cannot take any material thing with us including the clothing on our backs…However, when we die our children continue our lineage our legacies for us…When we raise our children well we are wealthy for children raised well will do well regardless of wealth or status…I do not fault my well meaning and very kind and generous uncle John for the way Mary turned out…Her husband John is also very proud…John told me prior to moving to Ireland I quote John now…John wrote to me as follows…”Ireland is not a runner you cannot afford to move to Ireland it is too expensive for you…You cannot afford a house and you cannot afford a car”…My God the pride the snobbish pride was palpable in that message as was the hatred behind that message…Many today like my unkind horrible relatives are full of diabolical narcissistic pride that comes from the source of major inferiority complexes so vast it would make your head spin…Further to this when I returned to Ireland for two years I was a single mother…A dreaded single mother hated and reviled by many particularly roman catholics because of how I became pregnant…I was raped by a roman catholic priest who was supposed to be my spiritual director who was ten years older than me who betrayed my trust and used coercive control and other abuse tactics to get me into bed with him and when he impregnated me he boasted that he was and I quote him now…”A stud”…He called his friends in India and other parts of the world and boasted that he was “A stud” that he got me pregnant…He then proceeded to verbally attack me and verbally abuse me and to accuse me of having sex with other men during the time of my pregnancy…The verbal abuse got so bad that I changed my phone number and cut him off…He was calling me from India yelling at me and demanding that the paltry sum of money he saw fit to give me to help with his baby be paid back to him…That’s right that jerk demanded that I a woman he raped and impregnated with his child pay him back a sum of money that he gave me to help with the child…He gave me one thousand US dollars then demanded I pay that money back…I was treated like a war pig I was treated like crap like garbage like a whore who was paid for sex except I was not worth the one thousand dollars so the son of a bitch wanted that money back…The roman catholic church did provide some child support for a time but the verbal abuse and threats I got during that ordeal was wretched…Due to the incredible stress and trauma of birthing my son on my own in a state that I knew nobody in…I had moved from New York to Iowa to birth my son in peace without fear of more verbal abuse and retaliation tactics so common among filthy vile dirty rotten roman catholics…I was in no shape to even think to ask for child support…I did not ask for that until a number of years later when my child was a few years old…Then I was forced to negotiate the child support myself with no help…I had an attorney who referred to my child as a “crumb cruncher”…Who was so obnoxious and rude I marveled at how lovely his daughters were as they were beautiful despite having such an ugly horrible man for a father…That lawyer did nothing to help me in any real way…I felt hated by that lawyer that lawyer hated my guts…As did everyone in the so called pro life movement who claim that they help women and children but in my case all I got from the pro life whack jobs was abuse…During the negotiation process for child support the roman catholic church offered me a paltry sum every month…A very small amount of money…This obliged me to do my due diligence and research the average child support a deadbeat father would have to pay in the state I lived in at the time which was South Dakota…I did this and only after that and some yelling on my part did they agree to double the paltry sum…Instead of $250.00 a month in child support I got $500.00 a month…I had to sign a gag order an agreement not to discuss this matter with a soul…I had to sign a legal document stating that I would not pursue further legal damages from yours truly the infamous statute of limitations roman catholic child and adult sex cult…The roman catholic church is expert in their craft of re-victimizing their own victims of instilling states of fear in their victims…Of destroying in a very systemic and categorical manner whole lineages of families and the ones left carrying the burden of toxic shame and toxic stress are the little people like myself…My God the fact that I am not yet dead is a fucking miracle…In order to get the hell out of the roman catholic sex cult…Whereby I no longer had any ties to these motherfuckers I cashed in my child support and used that modest sum to return to Ireland with my son…During that process I was harassed by a woman named Rita who contacted a man named Joe and between Joe and Rita both of these creeps contacted my well meaning and kind medical doctor behind my back to demand that I be placed on medications I did not need to be on…This confused my very kind medical doctor who since provided me with a complete copy of that case file as evidence that he received these very concerning abusive meddlesome phone calls…My God Rita was a woman I trusted a woman who helped me to care for my son when he was little…My God the only reason anyone in my life was ever kind to me was so that they could abuse me later on…Rita is a whack job absolutely nuts…I wrote a song titled Psychotic Rita that describes the douche bag Rita really is…With false friends like that who needs enemies???…My kind medical doctor wrote a nice doctors note for me to present to the local police in South Dakota due to the level of harassment that I got…Police were contacted for well checks that I did not need…In fact a member of the local Police force in South Dakota had to contact horrible women and men in the roman catholic cult to ask them to cease and desist these harassing phone call activities…On one of those unnecessary well check calls the police wished me well and safe travels to Ireland…The police told me that my sister Carmel had been in touch with Mary and John in Ireland via social media and that Carmel had also requested a well check which was not needed…The police told me to avoid both my sister Carmel and Mary and John in the future…I followed the advice of the police and I avoided Mary and John like the plague during my time in Ireland…I did however learn that Carmel choose to visit Ireland during my time there so I did reach out to my sister in good faith and we arranged to meet at a local restaurant this was before the Covid -19 hit the world stage…We met up so that she could meet my son and my son could meet Carmel’s daughter…That meeting did not go well at all..Carmel was viciously rude extremely rude horrible actually…I had not seen my bat shit crazy sister in more than ten years…All she could do was glare at my son and myself and in a disparaging manner talk down to me like I was beneath her social status and not fit for the task of moving to Ireland…At the time of that meeting we had been in Ireland for a while and I was driving all over Ireland…I had purchased a used car and was driving that for a time on my USA drivers license…My God my sister had no empathy no remorse no sense of needing to apologize to me for being such a bitch to me for years…Nothing at all…My sister who is younger than me looked like hell…Too skinny with a large node on her face likely from stress…My sister works two jobs and is very angry and narcissistic too…My sister has been on contraception for years and at the time of our meeting she was involved with yet another man who does not want to go public at all that they are involved…Both of these people are single as far as I know…He is a retired police officer and my sister is a divorced nurse…So why all the secrecy behind their involvement is beyond my understanding…My sister is nuts…At the time of that meeting I was not aware that my other sister Olivia had saw fit to cut Carmel out of her life the same year I did which was in 2017…Carmel was not only harassing the piss out of me with unneeded well check call requests…Carmel was harassing the piss out of Olivia’s lovely daughter…Carmel used her own daughter as a pawn to access Olivia’s daughter’s facebook messenger to look at messages between both daughters and then Carmel launched a vicious character attack on Olivia and her daughter…Olivia told me last Christmas in 2019 all of this and that she herself was shocked by the depths of the depravities found in Carmel…Carmel’s history with Olivia is not good and Carmel has a history of hitting on for sex Olivia’s husband and other men…Carmel has a history of slapping Olivia’s husband in the face for no reason at all except he rejected Carmel’s sexual advances…Carmel is bat shit crazy…Carmel is a sociopath and a potential psychopath…Olivia told me that while on vacation Carmel was very drunk and climbed into the same bed as Olivia and her husband hoping for some sort of weird sexual experience…Olivia and her husband had to kick crazy Carmel out of their bed…Olivia told me that Carmel told her that during her visit to Ireland that Mary and John asked Carmel many questions about our family looking for any dirt they could find so as to continue to bad mouth and verbally attack and put down our fucked up Gerry Springer bat shit crazy family…That is the thanks Mary and her husband John gave my late uncle John and Auntie Winnie for their goodness to them both was an expedition of learning about the problems in my family so they could continue their insane quest of bashing my family verbally…My God during my time in Ireland John and Mary showed up in my driveway but never bothered to get out of their car and instead stared in vile disbelief that I was in Ireland with my son and our new dog…Mary and John are vile vicious horrible people whom I have nothing whatsoever to do with…One of their daughters got pregnant and is now a single mother who boasts incessantly on social media that she voted yes for abortion on demand in Ireland and that she is full of gay pride and every kind of pride imaginable…No offense intended to the gay communities by the way…I am addressing the problem of narcissistic pride gone horribly wrong…Profanity is profanity and nothing can change profane laws and profane weddings no matter how you sugar coat and spice that wedding cake…Profane marriages go on all the time…Not limited to gay couples whose weddings are nothing but a sugar coated and spiced up profane diabolical party…Straight couples on contraception and birth control who refuse to have children and who abort their own babies are worse than and more profane than our gay friend’s lavish profanities…I do not hate the gay community or anyone what I tell you here is this…The unborn child is hated and has no rights and militant members of the feminist movement and the gay lgbtq movement despise and hate people like me who do not agree with their profane world views…With the unborn child reduced to a mere nothing but an opinion…Anything goes and hatred of others is rampant today…I do not go to weddings full stop…It does not matter to me who or what you are I do not go to weddings because most weddings today are profane worse than Sodom and Gomorrah…A proud man once said to me and I quote him now…”God has not been doing much smiting lately”…My response to that proud man was this…That is because the God of life has left mankind to their own devices centuries before to self destruct and implode from within…He thought about that and seemed to agree though with the proud you really never know what they are thinking for so many today are not capable of any real honesty in their thoughts words and deeds…A proud woman the wife of that proud man told me that “I am nothing and that I will never be anything”…I told her that she was through transference transferring her own feelings of inadequacy upon me and that I had no need or desire to take on her bad feelings about herself upon myself…So in her presence I stood tall though I am much shorter than her and very small…I straightened up my back and smiled a warm smile and said well I do not care what you say or think because in the eyes of My God who is the God of life who is not your God I am something and that is good enough for me…That shut her up and she calmed down and was more respectful towards me in her behavior and mannerisms…She was a friend for a time but I knew she was a false friend from day one due to the narcissistic pride found in both her and her husband…My experiences have helped me to recognize abusive types and recognize these types I do and I also see them coming long before they are aware I know of them…I discovered that I now have toxic stress…My toxic stress has gotten so awful that I have developed a stress rash…Part of my stress rash is severe psoriasis on my scalp and tinea on my eyelid and yes I have tinea corporis throughout my entire body…I have to take terbinafine for two months to get better from this…My body has shut down from years of traumatic abuse…During my two years in Ireland and then during this past year in Texas…I was processing new information from my traumatic past…This new information that I processed triggered in my body a trauma based response…My body does not know that I am safe…My body does not know that I am ok now…Consequently, my body is shutting down and I am literally dying from toxic stress…There is nothing the doctors can do for me…There is no known cure for my condition which is very serious…The reason I am permanently disabled is due to years of abuse as an Irish child from the roman catholic sex cult…I have stress intolerance as part of my condition…I cannot handle negative people so I avoid negative people like the plague…When forced or obliged to deal with horrid negative people…I limit my interactions with them and focus strictly on the task at hand…I recently had to obtain two notes from my medical doctor asking the property management company where I rent to provide written reasonable accommodation to allow me to place my garbage in the nearest garbage bin receptacle because of chronic pain flareups from my Fibromyalgia flare ups which in recent months have been very severe…A young man who works the grounds on this property has a history of harassing the piss out of me…This young man has glared at both my son and I…This young man has on more than one occasion threatened to fine me one hundred us dollars for placing my garbage bag in the wrong receptacle despite verbal ok’s from others on this property…This young man is extremely angry and has no empathy…One day while working on this property that young worker blared satanic ritual angry music so loud that I could feel the vibrations from the noise on the second floor…I told management all of that and management did nothing about it…Most recently that same young man called my name and proceeded to attempt to incite in me an angry response by once again threatening me with a one hundred dollar fine for placing my trash in the garbage bin…My God this is beyond the beyond’s absolutely ridiculous…I once more informed management and have yet to get a response…I sent management the two doctor’s notes that were written for the sole purpose of keeping me safe from dropping dead from toxic stress due to my now fluctuating blood pressure…When verbally abused I shut down I cannot cope and my blood pressure changes to dangerous levels which will result in a heart attack…I have already been on the verge of a heart attack due to dangerous blood pressure due to toxic stress from horrible people who have no empathy care or concern…My God my whole life has been nothing but one major shit storm…My God I made it to the national dean’s list and the national president’s list as a young student and no one noticed or cared…All I ever got my whole life was vile hatred and abuse from false friends…My God I could not trust my own sick twisted birth mother…My sick twisted birth mother is a sociopath and the only reason she is not a full blown psychopath is due to holy child birth and her prayer life…Not because she like me is considered a vile dirty rotten filthy roman catholic war pig something my lineage was and is called by villains in the roman catholic sex cult…Not because she is a devout staunch proud roman catholic…Something I myself no longer take part in…It is because my mother has a desire to be good a desire to do good and from this desire to be good and to do good my bat shit crazy now elderly sociopath mother prays false rosaries to false Mary statues in a very angry and mechanical and cranky way…My God I witnessed my mother rattle off many rosaries in church and what saves my mother her saving graces are not those stupid false Mary statue rosaries…My mother’s saving graces are her virtues which are as follows…My virtuous mother birthed eight children never using contraception or considering for a moment the possibility of limiting the births of her children…My virtuous mother prays from her heart from a heart though broken by years of abuse as an Irish child a heart that desires to be good and to do good…From my mother’s damaged core her heart her mouth speaks many horrible things about me behind my back and to me on the phone…Yet despite being damaged beyond repair from years of abuse as an Irish child from the Irish Gulag the Irish school system…My mother remains holy in her own way…I am not as strong as my sociopath mother…I am very weak very vulnerable and now my body is shutting down from toxic stress…If I do not get better I will die within the year from toxic stress…My body will continue to shut down and I will likely die from a heart attack…For 47 years of my life I will be 48 in August…All I got was hate and abuse…Nothing I ever did was ever good enough for a living soul and so I died inside years before and now my body is slowly dying from years of toxic shame and toxic stress…I do not expect to last six months at the rate I am going I will drop dead within six months…Horrible people have told me to drop dead many times over the years…I will likely drop dead within the next six months from toxic stress…There is nothing the medical doctors can do for me…There is nothing that can be done to heal me…The years of abuse are irreparable irreversible and unforgivable for the ones who hated me and abused me and continue to molest me with their words behind my back have no remorse no sorrow no empathy and so I will drop dead from toxic stress…When I die my story will become more widely known and upon my death which will be documented as death due to toxic stress due to toxic shame from years of abuse years of religious physical sexual verbal toxic abuse…It is only then that the world will begin to understand that words kill…That hate speech kills that bad mouthing others behind their backs kills…My death will be a testimony of this…Every day I sit and read story upon story of the worst system of child abuse known to mankind…The systemic abuse of the Irish child done in the name of God in Irish Gulag industrial schools…I read these cases every day of my life because for all eternity I will never forget the centuries of untold damages done to the Irish child in the name of God…I will never forget this for all eternity…Upon my death The God of Life will grant me this…My eternal soul will return with a vengeance the vengeance of my God who is the God of life and the armies of heaven to destroy once and for all for all eternity the wicked and their lost sheep…This is my belief as a work of art a mystical work of art nothing more and nothing less…I am after all nothing but an opinion in the eyes of the wicked in the eyes of the proud in the eyes of the conceited…I express how I feel as a work of art…No one ever bothered to ask me how I feel or to get to know the real me…The words “I am sorry you feel that way”…Fails to cut the butter a slap in the face would be more genuine…Few today are truly transparent anymore…There is nothing left to ambush there is not one left to destroy…We have all been destroyed at the core of our beings through centuries of systemic abuse that annihilated and destroyed many nations such as the Native Americans and the Irish to name but a few…As I write this reflection tears stream down my face because I cannot tell my sick body that is shutting down due to toxic stress that I am ok now…I do not know how to tell my brain to tell my body to cease and desist the fight or flight response in my own damaged autoimmune system…All that is left for me is doctors notes and tears as my body continues to fight a war on all flesh that will never end until the day of contention…A war on all flesh that renders victims like me dead inside and outside and so with tears flowing streaming down my face…I rest and pray with hope that perhaps toxic stress will not kill me after all…Though my confidence is gone and my tears like a river flow…My tears flow from centuries of hatred lies and deceit…My tears flow for the Irish child and all Irish children and all children around the world regardless of religion race color or creed who suffer and have suffered from the heinous war on all flesh…………Namaste…………As a thank you for reading this reflection…Enjoy my song titled I’m Just A Chemical that I sing in five languages…And my song titled The Art Of War that I also sing in five languages…………Namaste…………

…………The Art Of War – In The Art of War there are no winners only lies of sinners…………
…………I’m Just A Chemical – A song for all of mankind particularly the Unborn Child…………