A Pair Of Rainbows – A Reflection

This poem titled A Pair Of Rainbows was authored by Akiane kramarik at age 11 in her book titled My Dream Is Bigger Than I – Memories of Tomorrow – Part Four Page 200 “You will need your own copy of this book to view the full text of this poem.  I limit quotes for the purpose of discussion and to follow copyright guidelines that allows for limited quotes.”

This poem A Pair Of Rainbows consists of three stanzas with four lines each…The featured image I choose for this reflection is of my pet dog showing scars that he bears from a vicious dog on dog attack not long ago…I will now quote from Akiane’s amazing poem…”Influence does not conform to the dull masks—If we rest here—we rest there”…To read this entire poem you need to purchase your own copy of Akiane’s excellent prose…Scars are something many of us wear or carry…Our pets the same…My dog bears scars from a vicious dog on dog attack that could have resulted in the death of my puppy…Thankfully he survived and is thriving once more…My puppy was emotional too for a time after that vicious attack and was afraid to go out and do things…I had to give my pet lots of TLC or tender loving care including encouraging my pet to eat his food due to the loss of teeth that my pet experienced during that horrible attack…My dog bounced back though and is back to his usual rambunctious barking self…Human beings bear scars too from abuse and the longest lasting scars are the mystical scars the emotional scars…Physical scars heal and while marks can be left that are permanent mystical scars never heal…Mystical scars are eternal and last for centuries…Mystical scars caused by centuries of systemic abuse lies and deceit and pale and tainted histories whitewashed and sugar coated when the truth is banal…For many of us human beings healing from Mystical scars is not always possible in this life…What we are meant to do in this life is to learn and grow from each experience and to do our best to be good and to do good regardless of what ever hell life has dealt us…I will share a part of me with my readers now…This is part of my story…In my own personal journey of eternity…I can be very prone to pride and if we are honest most of us are prone to pride…What is terrifying and true is as human beings we can experience strong feelings and emotions which often leads us myself included here to believe what we want to believe…The devil who is an evil genius understands well how to appeal to our pride our ego our emotions and feelings so as to manipulate through our feelings behaviors that are banal or not good for us…I met a man in 2009 or so when my son was a wee baby…This man was and is married but not married to a woman he is married to a deity a God…My first interactions with this man who presented himself to the world as very simple humble holy and good as well as trust worthy…Were not positive and that man acted like he was entitled to automatic trust praise and respect simply for existing…People in our social circle which then comprised of folks who attended church as I once did who filled the community and work place…These folks would tell me to call this married man…This priest married to a deity he calls God…I was often told to call this man whom many held in high esteem and on a pedestal…I was confused by this and would call…I recall one of the first times I called that man…Early in the process of reaching out…That man yelled at me over the phone and in an angry demanding tone of voice he demanded a response from me by screaming this question at me “what do you want?”…My God I was taken aback by the anger in his voice and he sounded downright terrifying…I told him I wanted nothing from him that others in his church told me to call him…At the time of that experience my own child was very little and it was all I could do to keep both myself in one piece and my child together as a family…As a new mother I did really struggle for a number of years…I worked very hard on myself and through years of professional counseling and therapy…I got better…I got better because I followed the advice the professionals gave me…I was told not to date so I did not date…I was told to do volunteer work so I did volunteer work at the local homeless shelter that was new to our community and other places…I was told to work part time so I worked part time…I was told to do many things to get better and to help my situation…I did everything I was told to do…In my dealings with that particular prelate or roman catholic priest the last thing on my mind was a man because I simply did what I was told to do…Which included instructions to call that man…As the years passed I realized that I needed to loose weight for my health…So inspired by the concept of from the couch to a marathon…I started to work on getting myself in better shape…I started out walking a lot then running and I ran in the mornings and in the snow during the winter months…During this incredible process I dropped forty pounds and people around me noticed the dramatic changes in my life…I was being transformed and restored to better physical spiritual and emotional health and well being…During those transformative and restorative years whereby I worked very hard on self care self improvement and my own over all well being…I received visions in the form of many dreams about that roman catholic priest who is married to God…I received a vision that he was at a cross roads and given a choice to stay with his cult like church or leave and get married…Confused by what I was experiencing and also confused by the strange odd behavior of this odd priest…I took it upon myself to write to him these things…I told that man that he is called to marriage and that it is possible he could be called to leave his cult and marry me…Now, I do realize that by writing to him that way his narcissistic pride would be affected in a negative manner…You see that man had a history of trying to kiss me which I never allowed…That man had a history of giving messages to my child to tell me his mum such as “tell your mother she looks pretty today”…Or other such messages…That man had a history of texting me messages such as “I waited for you”…Which was for a confession that I never scheduled with him…Yes I went to church and saw him there but never said much to him or interacted with him much…Save scheduling confession times…He did sign my bible for me prior to my return to Ireland…I never pursued that man for a thing because to me he was very odd…When I was in his presence he would have sweaty palms he always seemed nervous around me and extremely shy or bashful like a boy except this man is an adult ten years older than I…He blushed a lot too when he saw me and the confessions were weird…He would demand I meet him for confession behind a Mary statue or behind the baptismal holy water font…During those confession times he would stand so close to me that I could breathe his breath…I realize now he was coming on to me but back then I was too stupid to see it…I had zero interest in that man and I really had no idea he found me attractive…That never entered my head…A man married to God is not supposed to find women attractive…Now my messages about him being called to leave his post and marry a woman like me went over as you can imagine like a ton of bricks…I did not expect him to receive my message well…My message was not well received…I had another message for him too…He had to deal with another priest who was writing to me in an untoward romantic manner which angered me and that mess had to be dealt with…That priest was removed from ministry for a few years those were the years I spent living in Ireland…I have since learned that particular priest has returned to his narcissistic post his pedestal supposedly renewed and ready to serve his false halo his own narcissistic pride…My God the damage these priests do to women and families is terrible downright awful…Had I been stupid enough to fall for that bad man who told me and I quote that priest now…”If I were not a priest I would date you”…The narcissism is alive and well in that statement because it never occurred to that jerk to think for a second that I might not want to date him…Even if he was not a feckin shithead scumbag asshole priest…I had the satisfaction of correcting him and telling him off for his crap…Now in my own pride and fragile egotistic small frame of mind…I seriously thought that the one priest I wrote these things too…Might actually leave the church and get married if not to me then some woman…For a time I thought he may wish to pursue me for marriage once he left the church…Ah! Go On! Have a laugh the laugh is on me today tis true I thought this way and looking back it is pathetically funny that I thought that way…For a woman like me already a mother to a child from another shithead scumbag roman catholic priest who took advantage of me by filling my stupid head with lies and deceit and by appealing to my emotions by attaching himself to my feelings…I had already been through the ringer once and played the fool and I was the laughing stock of these scumbags…There was no way in hell I was ever allowing myself to ever think to get involved with another piece of shit roman catholic shithead priest…Tis true I thought that priest would be different…Nah! He proved to be no different than the rest a piece of shit scumbag narcissist too proud to consider a lowly single mother like me whom he deems as beneath his pedestal stature and position…I tell you this because I am only human too and rather frail and prone to pride…I am no different than anyone else…What preserved me from ever getting involved with another priest again was the pain the mystical scars I carry and bear from years of hell on earth…I do realize it was laughable for me to consider such a man would ever consider leaving his comfy cozy pedestal post for a woman like me…The visions I received happened for a reason…I was supposed to say those things to that priest…I did this and moved on with my life…After I told him all of that…I up and left and moved to Ireland…That put some serious distance between me and that priest which was necessary…When I returned to the USA I moved to another state far enough away from that crazy priest…It was during my time in Ireland that I made the decision to get the hell out of and stay out of the roman catholic cult like church…I say that I am a recovering former roman catholic…That I am in recovery from years of spiritual abuse emotional abuse and other abuses by the filthy roman catholic cult like joke of a church…I am very glad I never got involved with another priest though a number of them tried to get into my pants with flowery speech appealing to my ego and my feelings and emotions…Looking back, I realize that I was targeted for more abuse…These priests who came on to me viewed me as an easy mark and easy target for false love due to the fact that I am a single mother and as such weak and an easy target…As stupid as I have been over the years thank goodness I knew enough not to repeat the same mistakes again…Once is too much…I say this fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me fool me thrice I will not be very nice…If I am crossed I get very cross indeed and I will get my revenge in my own way without breaking the law…I call it revenge of the nerds…Tis true my life has not been easy…I am grateful that I learned from my past mistakes and errors of my ways never to make those same mistakes again…My proneness to pride was tested…I knew not to consider getting involved with another priest one was already too much for me…However, the fact that I thought that one priest would leave his post to pursue me for marriage is a joke a laughable joke…I can see that now…I share this with my readers because I know I am small I know I am really not much at all…I know I am not very bright…My saving graces are the mystical scars centuries old that I carry from years of hell on earth…In my keeping are my mystical tears from my mystical scars from many years of hell on earth…In my job I hear a lot of things my callers open up to me and in an odd it way it feels like they are confessing things to me…A woman recently called me she had just gotten a tummy tuck and was feeling better about herself and her self care and over all image…All of that sounds reasonable as tummy tucks are common these days…What she said next was pathetically sad…She belongs to a methodist church and she got involved with a man whose family is known to her through church…After telling me that she found hard evidence on his phone that he was involved with three or four other women the same time he was with her…This evidence was hard evidence the brutal terrible truth…This truth was supposed to set her free from that horrible man…Instead she saw fit to call me to see if I saw a reconciliation happening between them…I put this question to her…I asked that lost sheep woman why in hell would you want him back? After what he did to you and other women too???…She is more messed up than him and he is fucked up in the head…Her reply said it all…This lost sheep replied that “he goes to church”…My God as if that makes his foul screwing around with many women justifiable???…In her own diabolical narcissistic pride she thinks she can fix this horrible lost sheep man that by calling him on his crap and by showing her hard evidence to his family that she can force that man via manipulative tactics to return to her…My God I had to warn that village idiot that if she takes that man back that he will expertly cover up his future infidelities and destroy her along the way out of demonic rage and anger that she not only figured him out but ratted him out to his own family…That woman is playing with fire a fire she will be consumed by as her reward for her own demonic diabolical pride…This story is an example of lost sheep the blind leading the blind…I warned her to kick that play boy man to the curb because she deserves better than that dip shit dick wad…Mark my words…That woman told me that the purpose of getting the tummy tuck was to look the part to get that shit head back…She is worse than the man she wants to manipulate back into her life…I told her that she risks getting a sexually transmitted disease if she takes him back…She did not care about that…My God I get calls from every walk of life who fill all seven churches around the world whose church weddings are profane and whose lives are bat shit crazy profane and miserable…My job is not an easy job…I sit and listen to sob story after sob story over drama that stupid women and stupid men bring upon themselves…These crazies cause and create their own crisis…Horrible men understand how to get women into bed with them and once that is accomplished horrible men often manipulate and control the emotions of these women who often become addicted to the sex and attention in what I call depraved lost sheep marriages and relationships…Horrible women do the same to men…My God I am grateful that I know that I am very small not much at all and that I also know to avoid like the plague horrible men particularly roman catholic priests who are like so many other banal men wolves in sheep’s clothing…As a thank you for reading this reflection…Enjoy my latest mystical song called Argentina addressing the mystical scars worn by many war torn nations…And my song called modern slave…And my song titled crave…………Namaste…………

…………Crave – Addressing the craven lost western man…………
…………Modern Slave – transcends religion race color and or creed…………
…………Argentina – Your Mystical Scars and Tears You’ve shed are not alone…………