Invitation To The Scars – A Reflection

This poem titled Invitation To The Scars was authored by Akiane kramarik at age 11 in her book titled My Dream Is Bigger Than I – Memories of Tomorrow – Part Four Page 183 “You will need your own copy of this book to view the full text of this poem.  I limit quotes for the purpose of discussion and to follow copyright guidelines that allows for limited quotes.”

This poem Invitation To The Scars consists of three stanzas with four lines each…The featured Image or photograph that I choose for this reflection was taken the other day actually…It is the same number as my current age which is 47 years old…I like serendipity and so for me that was a wee bit serendipitous…You see for many of us wretched creatures human beings myself included here we do not have much that keeps us happy or content…I encourage people to be whimsical why not?….Life is too short to be serious all the time and so what if others call you child like or childish…I refuse to grow up completely because adulting is very boring…Yes I am still adulting or growing up…Even at my age of 47 I am still growing and maturing spiritually and emotionally…Why???…Because I wear the scars of my lineage I wear the mystical scars of my ancestry who suffered horribly in Ireland for centuries…I also wear the scars of my own traumatic childhood and years of living that had lots of good along the way and also lots of bad…What keeps me going is this…I choose to be a positive person and yes there are days I am positive my life sucks and my finances are in the toilet…Sure my life has not been easy and I do not have much…What I do have to give I want to share with my readers…I have true grit…I have serendipity…I have a wicked sense of humor…I am also very silly…I take the business of being very silly way too seriously…Not really…I am very whimsical too…I am not much of a planner I am more a spur of the moment last minute kinda gal…That’s my kinda crazy…Now with this pandemic I am limited in scope in terms of my whimsical activities but I still find serendipity in little things…Such as my table number matching my age the other day…That was a bit of serendipity for me…Something about me that is very freeing is this…I care not what others think of me or about me…Why???…Because many people today are village idiots and why should I listen to their negative crap….I tell you this because negative haters need to look at their own lives and take stock of how they are living their lives…Never mind finding false faults with others…I will now quote from Akiane’ s poem…”What is left is a hollow rod, invitation to the scars. I am born wearing no royal gowns.” I will limit my quote to these lines…All of us are born the same way no clothing and usually we are born amidst loud cries…When I gave birth to my son I screamed a lot during the incredible birthing process which was intensely painful yet I was filled with joy because I knew that from my loud cries from the pangs and pains of childbirth a new life was entering the world…My son my boy my joy who also issued a loud cry after he was born…Childbirth is messy business God love the nurse she told me that my newborn baby pissed on her and she was glad because she knew this baby was a healthy newborn with a high apgar score…She was an excellent nurse who loved her job and the babies she helped to bring into the world…That nurse was so gracious and graceful about that incident that would normally make me the mammy blush with embarrassment…That nurse in my eyes was a superstar…The midwife who helped me with the birthing process by coaching me through my intense contractions with breathing exercises offered to allow me to cut the umbilical cord once I pushed out the placenta…I fainted but did not loose consciousness and asked the midwife to cut the umbilical cord…My water broke at 3:00 am something that I prophesied would happen…I told friends of mine at the time that I would go into labor at 3:00 am and that I would be on my own with no one present…I also said I will need to drive myself to hospital when I go into labor…As a single mother I was on my own with no help…No one cared about my well being or safety and no one thought to offer to be present when my water broke…So at 3 am I woke up with a start and an interior voice told me that my water would break and to go to the bathroom…I was on my own alone in a strange state of the Union here in the USA…I got up went to the bathroom and when I stood up my waters broke…Prior to this happening earlier that Thursday evening an interior voice told me that my son whose name I had already decided on was ready to be born…On Thursday evening before the birth of my son an interior voice told me that my son wanted me to know that he was ready to be born…That I must rest and not go out and that at 3:00 am on Friday morning my waters will break…With this interior silent knowledge I obeyed my child spiritually speaking by doing what the interior knowledge I received told me to do…I rested and was awakened the next Morning at exactly 3:00 am and my waters broke shortly after…Because I knew from previous interior knowledge that my waters would break at 3:00 am I had already packed my car with everything I needed to bring my baby home…I drove myself at the 3:00 am hour to hospital to birth my son…The hospital was not expecting me and I could not find their emergency room entrance…I had to call the hospital to tell them I was sitting alone in their parking lot that my waters broke and that I was going into labor…That if they could not help me to figure out how to get inside I would have to drive to another hospital…The staff to their credit kicked themselves into high gear and instructed me not to drive to stay put…They came out found me and had another staff member drive my car to the emergency room parking lot…Where I was met with a wheel chair…I was going into labor and was not thinking straight…Looking back on that incredible Journey I would not drive myself to hospital I would get an ambulance…But twelve years ago a single mother on my own abandoned by false friends and horrible family members who harassed the piss out of me and did nothing to help me…I drove myself to hospital to birth my son…When I was triaged and roomed the nurses panicked and asked me not to push until the doctor came…I asked if the midwife who was following my pregnancy was working…Thank’s be to God she was working…While I waited for the wonderful midwife to come…The nurses gave me bad advice and tried to tell me not to push…I got bossy with these nurses…I was more calm than the nurses were…I asked them can you cut the umbilical cord?…They said yes…Then I said I am pushing…I said when I feel contractions I am pushing…During that time my selfish spoiled brat sister in law called me to ask if I was doing alright…I told her on the phone that I was in stage two labor and that I had to boss those nurses around because these nurses were more scared and nervous than me…My sister in law said “wow you are doing an amazing job of being calm”…I told her I had to go because my contractions were more intense and I needed to scream…My other sister called as well and I told her the same…Both women were impressed with my ability to be so calm…Child birth is the most natural experience on earth for women…Fear of child birth is not natural…Sadly, many today have a diabolical fear of child birth…The midwife came and coached me through the birthing process and with no medicine or epidural five hours later I gave birth to my son…I pushed my baby out using my true grit…I told that midwife that I was a very athletic woman and that when she told me to push I was pushing and not resting till I pushed my baby boy out into the world…I treated my birthing process like a marathon and I made record time…I needed some small stitches after the birth and my throat was sore for a month after the birth due to the intense screaming involved…Screaming during childbirth is natural and normal because birthing children is a very painful process. The word of God sacred scriptures commands that women travail and suffer in childbirth due to the fall or transgression or sin of Eve…I blessed my son that very morning…I cannot put into words the incomprehensible joy I felt when I held my infant son in my arms for the first time…What the scriptures the word of God says is so true mother’s forget their pangs and pains of childbirth the moment mothers’ cradle their newborns in their arms…Twelve years later I would not change a thing because what did not kill me has made me stronger…My son saved me his mother and it is my son who helped me to heal from the traumas of my past…I dedicate this post this reflection to my wonderfully awesome son…As a thank you for reading this reflection…Enjoy a song that I wrote for my son’s twelfth birthday titled white butterfly….Enjoy another song I wrote called The boy who picked me up – that sings about how good came out of my rape…My baby boy…Ways rape happens to both men and women varies and rape can happen via coerced sex via coercive control and psychological warfare which is psychological abuse…Also, men and women are often raped spiritually and emotionally which is what the roman catholic church did to me for years…The roman catholic church robbed me and my family of any shred of dignity we may have had…My rape and subsequent pregnancy destroyed my relationship with my family…The roman catholic church is a filthy vile disgusting destroyer of souls and all of humanity…That horrible sex cult is inhuman with no conscience save love of money sex and power…I will now share a short story a mystical take or perspective on this fallen lost world titled Dark Lord…………

…………Dark Lord – You can call me scar!!! – A Mystical Creative Writing Piece…………

I will write you down in history with my own pale and tainted lies…Yes! I did what Maya Angelou Said…I will destroy your humanity for I am very wise…I will demand the blood of your innocence from all seven churches and the blood of your babies on my altar of false love…On my altar of false love…On my altar of false hope…On my altar of false Gods I will bring you a savior…A false Jesus Christ and a false Mary too and I will tell you that I love you but secretly I curse you…I curse everything you do from dawn to dusk and I curse your children too…Who knew that you would believe the things I say when I tell you that you are going to be ok…If you follow my north wind I will lead you astray to hell itself yet I lie to you to death telling you that it’s ok to cafeteria style your life by never doing what is really right…Instead I got you to lie to cheat to kill and to destroy…The day you shed innocent blood via my birth control plans and abortions my demons asmodeus and astaroth entered into you…The day of your marriage I lied to you and said that I am God who blesses you but secretly I said I am satan holding all your past present and future children in my carriage…I got you in my drag for I cast a large drag net…I caught many fishes that way you see and oh how I boast with glee…I insist on your reward on earth to rob you of your reward in heaven…Oh I fill you with my own diabolical pride…I fill you with my own diabolical narcissism…I make you crazy from the inside out and then I tell you to shut your mouth…I tell you that you cannot get angry…I tell you that you cannot become elevated for if you do that I will label you as emotionally disordered and mentally insane…I have given you my mark the mystical mark of the beast…For you are my own and everyone you meet is one of mine for the demons whom I assigned to you lead you to other demon controlled legions just like you…Oh I got your number too in everything you do for the number 666 is in everything I do…From billable codes to billable hours greed is how I destroy many human flowers…I write profane incendiary laws to keep you down trodden and open to my flaws…My predators are clawed and ready to scratch and I leave with the scars of my evil for which you are no match…I get inside your head I get inside your being and destroy your souls with ease when you blood let for me…My demons control you my demons own you and with my mystical mark of 666 not visible to the human eye you are already primed and conditioned to do my bidding…For if you stray I will blackmail you and criminalize you too with my pulse incident numbers and cagey files…I have you cornered on every turn like a board of chess you will never learn of my evil genius ways before it is too late…I set you up to fail…I set you up for entrapment from vile profane unjust laws…I set you up to be criminalized for your many false flaws…I force you to own toxic shame…I force you to obey profane laws for if you become elevated I will label you as emotionally flawed…My genius way of finding false flaws with my targets from genesis to this very day which is the vile execrable human race…You think I rebelled for no reason at all…You think I got two thirds from heaven to follow my fall???…For no reason at all???…I am here to destroy for I am your formidable foe you are my doe my roe with me your dark lord your scar your wade…I destroyed the waters of many wombs I turned many wombs into tombs…Your unborn children were slaughtered for me…Then you go to bible studies and pray to me your dark lord…You say that Jesus Christ is in those bibles you choose your personal Jesus Christ but oh snap how you lose…You lost the war on all flesh long ago…You have no idea who you are anymore…I destroyed your lineages for centuries now and I am in the process of blotting you out…Of the book of life of the God of life whose name I the dark lord have replaced with my own false great light…In my presence you pray to what you call God and I laugh with glee that you cannot see…The errors of your ways of your destroyed humanity….I hold in my hands the ciborium the chalice the cup overflowing with the blood of my malice from your iniquities that I got you to do with the help of my fallen angels…Oh execrable fallen man from day one with Eve I set about your destruction with such ease…Eve made it easy for you to fall…Even the God of life was surprised by how easy your fall came about the day I went out into the garden of Eve…Pride is how I sold you down the river fed by greed and lust do I your dark lord make you shiver???…I put words in your head like machine gun lead psychological warfare is how I got you dead…I appeal to your ego your senses your pride…Just like I did with Eve and oh how I lied…It was very simple for me for I am an evil genius yet the God of life is surprised at the ease of your fall…The God of life said through Moses I will speak and give these lost sheep some ground rules to seek…The ten commandments were said and written in stone…Then I come along and make myself known…From Genesis to this very day I know the creatures with whom I hold sway…I got King Solomon to make many mistakes and he was King yet I am his snake…The wisdom of King Solomon was no match for me and oh how I laugh with diabolical glee…I got you to set up many universities and knowledge centers with many degrees…Degrees of progression of many a profession…I made you profane by your profane laws and teachers expert in my dark arts of false flaws…When those who opposed me were destroyed over these centuries though Heaven was theirs I refused to stop…I sharpened my teeth and I do not stop until I destroy the whole human lot…I got king Herod to kill by working through a woman…Her diabolical dance in a bad romance got me the head of John The Baptist’s on a platter…It was then that I discovered the dark arts of the woman…I realized then as I realize still to possess women is to perfect my kill…So witches covens were created by my fallen angels who taught women corrupt knowledge to destroy both body and soul…Covens discovered the dark arts of seaweed used in the first trimester abortion called laminaria to replace the amniotic fluid the waters of the womb with my poison seaweed…Hell bent on destroying the human child perfecting my kill through women…I possessed and possess many women and men whom I use as pawns to speak through to pass profane inhumane laws…I corrupted the universe in large part by woman who took part in the birth of Napoleon Bonaparte of France…In my son Napoleon Bonaparte I did impart my dark art of war…Though Napoleon was terrible at chess Napoleon was my perfection in the art of war…The art of military laws hell sent and hell bent written to overtake law and order…Through my powers of speech found in Napoleon Bonaparte of France I your dark lord did another diabolical dance…I made a concordat with Rome giving my son Napoleon Bonaparte great sway and great say in the choices of top level clergy…Unknown to lost sheep who fill all seven churches I destroyed from within all organized religions…I destroyed many lands and wrote unjust laws…To protect my predators and my unjust cause…I got every nation to agree to pop a contraception pill and use birth control…By so doing all religions all races colors and creeds fell in love with me their dark lord…No religion no nation no country no town color or creed escaped me your dark lord…I corrupted the universe as that dreaded woman said whose name makes me tremble whose name gets me said…Mary Mystical Mary the mother of the true Jesus Christ was right at LaSalette when she said that “no man was left on earth to offer a worthy oblation”…That dreaded woman whose heal I must lie in wait said…In Fatima that many nations would be annihilated…During the time of Fatima Mary Mystical Mary whose name I dread choose the name Fatima because the Muslim world was the last stronghold left against my contraception and birth control devices and abortions….For centuries the Muslims had large families not so these days you will see the Muslims too fell in love with me your dark lord…The Muslims now pop my contraception pills and their women are proud filled with false humility…No different than the fallen western girls whose innocence I destroyed from day one of their births…I your dark lord have corrupted the earth which is full of the blood of my lusts and iniquities…The earth itself cries out to the God of life trembling in rage for vengeance…I corrupted the universe and confused your species destroyed the animal kingdom and other species…All living things were corrupted by me…Since the fall of Eve mankind was always far too easy for me your dark lord to deceive…So while your military schools studied me found in Napoleon Bonaparte of France and my ancient book from China the Art of War…Armies in heaven have been preparing too…Incorruptible by me for I have no access you see to the mystical fine print written without me…I removed myself from the book of life and I started my own book of the dead…I found fallen man an easy catch to change their spirits and to match my own fallen angels to their persons…Making up my henchmen and women of my book of the dead…The book of life has been filling up too and my time is short as I wait for her heal…The woman I dread is the woman of whom it was said from Genesis till my very end…There is enmity between me and that woman who is set to crush my head as was already said…The word of God is eternal the word of God never changes only fallen angels who enter fallen man removes from the book of life souls meant for God’s plan…I add these souls I successfully destroyed to my book of the dead…If you think you said that heaven is yours come again come again I am yours…I am your dark lord I won’t let you forget it…Your rosaries badly said condemn you to me…Oh how I laugh with glee that my astaroth women my asmodeus men my asmodeus women and astaroth men say many ritual prayers thinking heaven is theirs…Their prayers go to me for I blotted you out of the book of life the day you blood let for me…From the moment you took my contraception you blood let for me which was my great deception…You demand sympathy from women like that dreaded Mystical Mary who crush with their heal your despicable state…In your false humility you women refuse to cover your heads and of you it is said your skirts are profane for your own unborn children are dead…Oh false humility woman of you it is said you lose the hair on your head and your beauty for your souls are now dead to the God of life and you live only for me your dark lord found in your false statue Mary….Do you think for a second I could sin as I do through the likes of you in the presence of the true Mystical Mary…I flee in the presence of true holiness I flee in the presence of holy angels…I flee in the presence of the God of life…I flee in the presence of angelic woman who just like terrible Mystical Mary is set to scatter the proud in their conceit for of this one it is written…One from Dan who overcomes who sings the scriptures calling out the false god’s in your midst…One who was spoken of for centuries by the tribes…The long awaited one lucifer’s dread for what was said of her was not blotted out for she overcame my many seductions…I seduced many nations tis true this was done…Yet this holy one of whom it is said is a holy terror unto me…For I never read her mystical fine print…Her soul was prepared for centuries for times such as these to crush me with ease…Though many say do not tread on me…This holy one will crush me…Not on her own and not through her merits she knows she is no match for my mystical fire…Mary Mystical Mary is her head…Mystical Mary is her boss the one whom I dread the one of whom it is said it is written will crush my head…The one from Dan says The Lord Commandeth It that this must be said and with Michael the Archangel over her head…I cannot touch this one I dare not for it is said…She will summon all of heaven to crush my head…Michael the Archangel fills me with dread with ever loud cries Who Is Like Unto God!!!…………Of whom it is said expelled me from heaven centuries before will do it once more with a crush to my head…This one from Dan cannot be crossed she will make you behave or tell you that you are lost…If she tells you that you are lost to me your dark lord you will flee in her presence for my mark is on your head and her presence it is said is Holy Terror of all of hell…For that one has Mystical Mary by her head and Archangel Michael too and of whom it is said…The Lord Commandeth It….She durst not deal with me in railing speech…She terrorizes me and my demons who said My God My God lucifer that one fills us with dread…She sees us coming with her Mystical armies from heaven who send us running and the loud cry she refuses to stop for the children are no more and she refuses to be comforted…That one from Dan refuses our false friends our false love our false comforts and false status and wealth…That one cannot be bought of her it is written her soul was already purchased and marked Mystically…There’s nothing we can do oh dark lord of the night…That one insists on doing only what is right…She refuses our wafers she refuses our bread she refuses to drink from the cup of the dead…Her armies from heaven exorcise us in her presence we are bound and chained by her very presence…Her feet make a terrible sound for with every breath and every step she has become a Mystical prayer for Justice to fall for no one on earth did Justice at all…She is not afraid of death of her it is said upon her death she shall return with the vengeance of her God the God of life…Her soul is eternal and will never die my God Lucifer we cannot make her die…We cannot destroy her eternal soul and Michael The Archangel has made it widely known…Not to touch a hair on her head or the head of her child…Or we will be dealt a mighty blow by Mystical Mary who is not very mild….Mystical Mary is terrible you see like an army set in battle array…So many were seduced by our soft mild false Mary statues with soft speech hell sent and hell bent on keeping lost sheep fast asleep…Not this one from Dan she will never shut up we will never forget her for all eternity…On the day of her birth we tried to curse the earth as we do with all other execrables…We got her poor mother very stressed out the miscarriage we caused prior to this one’s birth was not the one we sought and is how this one came to earth…Her mother is holy and of her mother it is said…Her name is Mary and though we messed with her head as an Irish child of her it is said…Her daughter the one from Dan will not let us harm another hair on her head…This one from Dan is set to accuse her people and says we lucifer caused gray hairs in her poor mother…This one from Dan said we caused her gray hairs too…That our gig is up our time is very short what are we to do???…We thought we had her mother dead but this one from Dan is not allowing it…Mystical Mary has managed to grab from our drag many souls we thought were dead from our fowl snares…Mystical Mary it is written it is said in the mystical fine print that the Lord Commandeth it that the wicked be destroyed and destroyed the wicked will be…Holy innocent children who are mothers sanctified by child birth like this one’s Mammy we have no hope in hell of obtaining the eternal death of mother’s like that one this one from Dan and her own mother Mary…Named after the dreaded Mystical Mary…Sure this one from Dan’s little Mammy Mary was cranky when she prayed many rosaries disappointed with her life so full of strife..Mary the mother of this one from Dan…Sanctified herself through child birth through dreaded child birth that makes saints out of women and created this one from Dan now we know we are not winning…The astaroth men and the astaroth women have been named thus by this one from Dan…We thought we had so cleverly hidden the demonology dark arts in all things forbidden…This one from Dan can see us coming this one from Dan sends us all running…She is a holy terror though she says she is not much her humility is our undoing and Mystical Mary is her crutch…The armies of heaven surround this one from Dan who demands that the Lord Commandeth that we cease and desist destroying fallen man…She insists too that though her siblings went astray tis not their fault they are that way…Tis the fault of the wicked one our own evil curse she demands that we fall at the feet of Mystical Mary who will undo the knots we made in her family her tribe for Centuries…This one from Dan is our undoing…This one from Dan will not let the accursed harm a hair on her siblings heads or on any of the heads of her extended family including aunts and uncles still living…This one from Dan is a pain in the ass she is making us snakes in the grass bite our own ass…She is returning to us our own toxic shame obliging us to swallow all that pain…Obliging us to drink from our own cup of lies and deceit and iniquities this one will never shut up…She is loud and obnoxious and no matter how angry we get she nods her head and says it is written…The Lord Commandeth it for of her it is said…Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned and this one is fed up she’s had enough and is summoning all of heaven for Justice…Reminding us oh lucifer that our time is short and that our fury is no match for the fury of her furious God and the livid terrible Mystical Mary whom this one says is so furious Mystical Mary is silent for a time…All Mortal Flesh will be silenced upon the death of this one from Dan whose eternal soul burns with a furnace of fire for Justice Justice Justice…………We durst no longer harm a hair on her head or the head of her child and her dog and her mother and siblings and in laws and aunts and uncles and cousins too…Or we will rue it she said so it is high time we fled…The scars we caused her family and extended family and her tribe will be healed…We are forced by her heal to bow before her to prepare the way for Mystical Mary and Arch Angel Michael and the armies of heaven for it is high time we learned to dread a small woman she said from Dan………….This one from Dan whose name means Justice…………Will destroy our head and no we are no longer sorry she is not dead…We do not want her dead for she is terrible like an army set in battle array and upon her dreaded death she will return with the Sulamitess the woman whose heal we dread…………This holy terror is the one it was said the one from Dan written in the book of life to destroy for all eternity the book of the dead…………I tell you why we never saw this one coming…………Her mother was so small so very frail…We were so certain nothing good would come of that Mary…After all we turned so many Mary’s into bloody Mary’s with contraception and abortion…This small frail Mary birthed eight ones and the miscarried one is with the armies in heaven telling us our time with their family is done…Oh God we had better run….run….run….We will be scattered whether we like it or not our time with this one’s family is done…The truth is this we never won though we had little fun we better run….run….run….

The End

As a thank you for reading this reflection enjoy my Song titled Scar which is my sung version of the mystical short story shared here and my Mystical songs playlist…My song scar is rather long and it was not easy for me to record it…Due to it being so very long…In the song scar I do stutter a bit and that is alright…You see I never claimed to be perfect it is fine for me to be small…As Akiane Kramarik said as a little girl “The truth is still the truth even if it stutters”…Too many folks today are full of pride and would not post things like I post…I prefer to be small and stutter to show the world that as works of art we all have something to add no matter how small…I consider my self a little “who” like the “who” mentioned in Dr. Seuss’s books…I am a huge fan of Dr. Seuss too…Thank you for following and liking my blog………..Namaste…………

The Boy Who Picked Me Up – Out Of The Ashes Of The Horrors Of My Past…………