Down A Mudslide – A Reflection

This poem titled Down A Mudslide was authored by Akiane kramarik at age 11 in her book titled My Dream Is Bigger Than I – Memories of Tomorrow – Part Four Page 179 “You will need your own copy of this book to view the full text of this poem.  I limit quotes for the purpose of discussion and to follow copyright guidelines that allows for limited quotes.”

This poem Down A Mudslide consists of four stanzas with four lines in the first stanza and six lines in the second and third stanzas and four lines in the last stanza…The featured image or photograph I choose for this reflection is of my son and I on Croagh Patrick in 2017…The craggy rocks and mud can become like a mudslide and the day we climbed it was teaming rain and the rocks were very slippery…We saw people climbing in their bare feet something the Irish have done for Centuries as acts of penance and such…Climbing Croagh Patrick is often a spiritual exercise for many Irish and for many who come to climb…I know for me and my son it was our spiritual journey too for me it was my small victory over my own many physical limitations since I have special needs…I have chronic fibromyalgia pain which means my legs do not always work right and I have to rest for long periods of time…I thought I had multiple sclerosis because there are times during my flare ups when my twitching and muscle spasms are so over whelming I have to rest…The doctors have not found evidence of MS thank God…All the same I have a serious debilitating condition few understand and sad to say horrible people from my youth to this day in this life are only sorry that I am not dead…The hate speech and hatred I have received mostly from religious men and women would make your head spin and turn many a stomach in disgust…Nasty self centered people never once bothered to get to know the real me and never cared to understand my struggles…It is experiences with awful people that made me who I am today…I am stronger for it and just to piss off the haters I insist on living a successful happy content life with what little I have…That is my true grit and that is what Croagh Patrick means to me….A symbol of the mountains I have had to climb spiritually and emotionally in this life…At the end of this reflection you will find a song I wrote about what Croagh Patrick means to me…Titled True Grit…As well as footage of my rescue from that mountain…I made it all the way to the tippy top and half way down…No small feat for my useless weak legs and small weak frame…My climb was spiritual and emotional because no one tells me that I cannot climb that mountain…I dedicate this post and this reflection for people like me who have special needs…Including my own beloved deceased father who had polio and like me had special needs…I also include my mother who is still living because my mother’s special needs were more hidden from the world which means that my poor mother suffered in silence with little to no help…It is for this reason that I also dedicate this post to my own beloved crazy mother whom I will always love for all eternity…Never mind that we cannot get along well in this life…I do not care tis not my poor mammy’s fault…For all eternity I will always love my feisty Irish mammy…There are much worse people out there than my poor mammy and family that is for sure…As a woman said to me once in Ireland “sure there’s worse than you out there.” I would agree tis true and I thank that woman for that and I take what she said as a kind compliment…Sure there’s much worse than meself and me mammy and family out there for sure…I will now quote from Akiane’s poem…”yesterday crashes down a mudslide yet tomorrow remains unforgettable”…”at the dormant entrance to the banquet each tear like a jewel above expensive rags hangs on your neck attracting madness”…Leaving out a part of the poem I quote now the last stanza…”one cannot win contrast by offering it only light”….I never tire of saying Wow!!!… When I study Akiane’s poetry…What comes to my mind is the madness of shedding light and prayers over situations that are already lost…A good example of this concept is what the scriptures say about the importance of not pouring new wine into used wine skins for the used wine skin will make the new wine bad…If you try to add good milk to spoiled sour milk the spoiled sour milk will ruin the good milk…These visuals helps us to understand ways evil spoils good so that though many try to do good and effect change often not much good can be done because profane laws and profane knowledge and profane altars have already destroyed what is good…To make a point I will share with my readers a short story which is a work of fiction based on real people who behave a certain way…The two people featured in this short story want to be good and do good…I will let you my readers decide if that is true…I make no claims as to statements of facts and simply mention these two people to make a point…This short story has a title and a twist I will share public works that these two people do in good faith in their sincere efforts to be good and to do good…

The Subconscious Misogynist Lost Sheep are The Blind Leading The Blind – A Mystical Assessment

Two men on the same crooked roads decided to lead mankind to God the God of life and went about studying knowledge thesis theology and completed years of studies and training so as to be placed on pedestals to speak to the lost sheep in a good faith effort to guide these lost sheep from the brink of destruction back to the God of life…Both men find women attractive and no these men are not guilty of misogyny intentionally or are they??? I let my readers decide that one…These men have learned how to pontificate and how to project and how to command and demand filial respect trust and loyalty from their lost sheep followers who often fawn over them and adore these men like god’s unto themselves…In their good faith efforts to be the fresh mystical wine so to speak used by the God of life to save lost sheep from their lost ways…These men discover one day that their mystical wine the wine of their good will and good works and good faith efforts to be good and do good has been failing for years because the mystical wine skin that these men pour themselves out into is rotten from years of putrid perfidy and putrification from within over the centuries unknown to these men who were beguiled and seduced by the deity they married…By taking vows they sincerely believe to be sacred but are in reality profane vows and a bad Mystical union or bad marriage…No different than other toxic marriages and relationships that exist in the world today…These men are married to a deity to a God…These men took vows similar to couples in bad marriages or toxic bad unions these men did the same except they married a deity they thought was holy and good…As the scriptures say of men like this…These men have poured themselves out for a reward which in this story is their salaries as these men are paid modest salaries and often live rent free and are also given many rewards such as being placed on pedestals and fawned over by their lost sheep as god’s unto themselves…Also many adoring followers will give these men generous items in many forms…These men crave attention and the spot light and as a result are often filled with false humility and are in fact very proud and narcissistic…These grown men often stronger than small women and children like me…Are expert at switching their positions and playing the victim by claiming should anyone who opposes them and their profanities publicly of attacking them and these creeps often demand public apologies from folks who oppose them…Forgetting that public apologies are needed from men like these and their profane altars guilty of every kind of profanity known to mankind as evidenced by the scandals making the news…These scandals are so profane and horrible that I cannot make this stuff up…The two men whose public works I will share with you my readers are not intentionally wicked or bad…However, that being said it is a form of insanity to insist on pouring themselves out like mystical wine into a wine skin their mystical cult like church that has been rotting from the inside out for centuries now…It is a form of madness to think their rhetoric from pedestals will save lost sheep…Notice from both the blog I will share here and a you tube link I will also share the soft speech…Notice how both men are very gentle in their work…These men appear harmless and calm and caring…This may very well be true..However, this does not diminish or remove the guilt these men share by association and failures to act and to speak out and to issue public apologies for the scandals that surround them…Men like these men often re-victimize the victims of their cult like church and these men have other men and women more powerful than they who will viciously attack and destroy anyone who opposes what they do…To make a point…I wrote a review on a Cathedral I once attended…My review was a scathing review…That scathing review never got published…I wrote about my own horrible experiences with awful priests hitting on me speaking to me in flowery romantic language they had no business doing…I spoke about awful women who verbally abused and harassed me and viciously attacked me and my character behind my back…These same vicious women are on contraception or had at least one abortion and if they are not on contraception or having abortions they are accepting of contraception use in their own families and these older women who are lost sheep are often sterilized at their own request and not for sound reasons…Though these vicious women are also expert in their craft of giving good explanations for being so horrible…My review mentioned the fact that my family was accessed for abuse by vile pedophile priests over the years and that I myself was raped by a roman catholic priest…That despite the fact that I am a very single mother doing everything on my own while that church helped me some…That cult like church demanded my loyalty my trust and my time and money…Consequently I donated large sums of money to that cult…I requested refunds and was refused refunds…One place in PA that took a lot of money from me at the request of one of the priests whose public details I will share here for purposes of this write up…That place not only refused me my refund but lied to me and falsely claimed they had issued me a refund…When I pushed this and demanded they account for the check they claimed to have sent to me…They cut me off…I state this to showcase how horrible the roman catholic church and other churches like them truly are…These fiends are all about money status and power and do not care to provide refunds should those who donate ever have remorse…My point is this it is never ok to access families for abuse by being nice or kind so as to abuse families…Though I received some help from the roman catholic sex cult…The help I received does not give these men the right to speak to me in an untoward manner and to demand more money from me in the form of donations…My God I am already on my own carrying a burden imposed on me by that rape…Now while I do carry this burden alone…I do not blame my child for the crimes of his father and the crimes of that cult like church…I say this because while abortion is a legal option for women like me abortion is a death sentence to my child and the punishment to my child does not fit the crime…My child committed no crime and so should not be punished…I was severely punished in many forms via vile verbal abuse and verbal attacks including threats in many forms…All that vile treatment did to me was alienate me from the roman catholic cult and I cut a bunch of low life bitches and shit head men out of my life as a direct result of their own sabotaging behaviors in my regard…That was my right and duty to do…It was most fitting for me to cut these people off…The Msgr. Whose blog I will share with my readers I wrote to for a period of time and I will send him as a courtesy this blog post for his review…I am not vindictive though that Msgr. Accused me of being vindictive in the past…I state this because the roman catholic cult is expert in their craft of accusing those who leave their cult of “hating their cult” and or “attacking their church” which is bull shit of the highest order…I am a small woman with special needs a little single mammy meself…I am not much at all…I am hardly a threat to the high and mighty roman catholic cult…I donated money to that Msgr. too for his work and later requested a refund…I was refused a refund…That Msgr. during my time in Ireland offered to send me that donated amount in the form or guise of charity…He acted like he was being kind to me but in reality he owed me that money from a donation that I had already made…I never got my refund…I never got my public apology for a damn thing…That church would demand that someone like me whose family was victimized by their scum bag priests for years that I apologize instead…So here goes…I am sorry that I was ever baptized roman catholic…I am sorry too that I was forced against my will to participate in your profanities in front of vile profane altars…I am sorry too that I ever ingested your vile communions for I was forced against my will to participate in your profanities…I am sorry too that I was taught to pray in a profane way and by so doing I was summoning the devil himself not heaven rather the devil and all his profane works…I am sorry that I was forced to wear a white dress and with my own brothers semen on my private parts march down your profane isles to your profane altar to commune with the devil himself on the day of my first ungodly unholy communion…That day forever etched in my memory I had a headache I was bruised from beatings from my crazy mother herself a victim of systemic abuse by your profane child sex cult as a child growing up in the lost Irish school system…I am sorry I forgot my stupid candle prior to my first unholy communion which resulted in a severe beating for the crime of forgetting my candle from my own demented damaged mother…I am sorry my poor brothers were conditioned by abuse outside our home by vile pedophiles in your cult to abuse me their own little sister in a profane sexual way…In a vile effort to destroy my humanity my dignity my self respect my sanity and my feminine sanctity as a young girl…I am sorry too that my birth was cursed by your cult…That I was forced by my demented mother into a vile baptism claiming that my purity was impure because of so called original sin that your cult demands be passed on from generation to generation via vile curses starting at birth with the mark of the beast in the form of your vile baptisms and rituals including ashes on my hands and forehead every year for years on your profane ash Wednesday in a vile effort to place the mystical mark of the beast on my sacred person via your vile wafer communions and rituals…I am sorry too that you conjured demons into yourselves and into all who lined up to your profane altars…I am sorry too that the only thing you are sorry about is the fact that I am not yet dead…I tell you this upon my death you will be very sorry…I tell you this that upon my death you will rue the day you cursed my family…I tell you this that upon my death you will rue the day you destroyed my holy family from within…I tell you this that upon my death you will rejoice for a short time…For your time is very short…I tell you this that your profanities done to both myself and my family in the name of God of all things failed to destroy in me my authentic Christian faith…As an authentic Christian woman I tell you this you failed to destroy my soul and though you may succeed in destroying my sacred humanity in this life…My soul is eternal and upon my death I shall return with a vengeance the vengeance of my God who is the God of life not your god who is the god of death and all things putrid and putrification…I am sorry too that you got away with many murders not only of the flesh but of the tongue…All of your vicious attacks on my character my person my mental health from the day of my birth to this present day shall fail…For your hate speech in my regard will be reduced to babble like the tower of babble as your reward for your diabolical attacks on my sacred humanity and on my family…I let the word of God convict you…I let your own hostile powers convict you…I let my childhood tears of sorrow and pain convict you…I let your fruits of death and destruction convict you…I let the crimes done to the sacred humanity of my family and lineage for centuries convict you..For Oh snap! You pissed off the wrong woman you pissed off the wrong tribe…Though I am very small and really not much…I stand tall all five foot two of me for all survivors of systemic abuse from your vicious child sex cult…For I am also an adult survivor of the fallout of systemic abuse in Ireland…This mystical short story is a work of art nothing more and nothing less…Study these two men please…Study their works…Though these men seem to mean well these men are lost sheep the blind leading the blind…Both of these men are men that I met in person and whom I told are called to marriage…Both of these men find women attractive I would know due to their history of untoward odd behaviors towards me in the past which obliged me to put my foot down and crush with my heel their horrible behaviors…Both men showed me great dis-respect and as such seem to me to be misogynists not on a conscious level meaning both men are not aware that they hate women…Men like this claim to revere and respect women but in reality men like this are conditioned via years of training…To on the subconscious level hate women…I tell you by their vile mistreatment of me these men unconsciously hate women yet find women attractive…I avoid men like this like the plague…Sadly one of these men featured in this short story not the Msgr. The other one who recently returned to ministry after being put on leave for behavior issues…Was untoward towards me in both his speech and flowery words…I had to cut him off at the quick and put that pompous jerk in his place for daring to state and I quote him now…”If I were not a priest I would date you.”…My God to some women that would be a compliment but to a woman like me it angered me and pissed me off…He had no business speaking to me that way…I state this but make no claims as to statements of facts…For the moment I claim to be an authority on a thing…These scumbags and their henchmen and henchwomen would viciously attack me my reputation my character and accuse me falsely of chasing them when in reality I chased both of these shit heads away…The one who recently returned to ministry is very narcissistic and is a danger to women because from his history of romantic flowery speech which he pulled with me…That unconscious or subconscious misogynist is capable of impregnating women and leaving these women out to dry to carry his burden the burden of his vile hatred for women disguised as chastity and love for his deity…Meanwhile men like that are often beastly and often masturbate regularly and are a danger to women and other men if they are gay and or children….Again no offense intended to the gay community…Regardless of sexual orientation I am addressing the problem of false humility in these proud men who also hate the gay community because men on pedestals like this are despicable in their inabilities to avoid their own profanities via their own weaknesses be it in their dealings with women like me or other men or God forbid children…I tried to tell both of these men that they are called to marriage…That message fell on deaf ears because both men are too proud and too full of themselves to listen to a lowly little single mammy like me whom these men have no shred of respect for whatsoever..The Msgr. has a history of trying to claim that I was get this drum roll please “hostile towards him”…Though he himself told me I had a case against horrible members of his cult like church…That jerk did nothing to help me out of his own vile hatred of women hidden by his vile vicious idolatry of false Mary statues and writings about a Mary he loves to adore and praise…Meanwhile by his lack of actions to help women like me…That man is a subconscious vile misogynist…My victories are many though in the eyes of this proud world very small my victories are mine to own…I got the hell away from men like this and out of the profane roman catholic church…I climbed a mountain called Croagh Patrick which was my mystical victory…I will include a link for both of these men for you to study…One man writes very well of Mary as he is a missionary of mercy and a Marian priest who sadly showed me no mercy and sad to say has no mercy for the victims of his cult…Men like this cover up crimes against the humanity of women like me and families too which makes men like this profane…This is his blog…http://jmjmorningstar.blogspot.com/ — I noticed when I visit his blog on occasion which is open to the public and as such is fair game…He will post entries dated a day or two ahead which is interesting to note…This man writes very well of Mary yet this man fails Mystical Mary at every turn with his vile cover ups in the brotherhood of his own inhumanity…That Msgr. Inspired me to write a song that I titled crooked road…Both men featured in this mystical assessment are on very crooked roads.– This poor man has no idea that on the subconscious level he hates women like me….This is a mystical example of the blind leading the blind…I am including a link that describes 12 ways to spot a misogynist…https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-mysteries-love/201502/12-ways-spot-misogynist – Not every misogynist fits this description…I will now include a link for the other priest who recently returned to ministry…Study his behavior which I say is a form of insanity…I dare not suggest this man is insane for should I do that his henchmen and henchwomen would viciously attack me…I suggest the concept of the insanity of profane altars and projections as if he is a God unto himself…That is my point…For a man who finds women attractive he is more lost than the lost sheep he thinks he can save with his soft speech rhetoric and pretty appearance in shiny robes…Sadly that will not do the trick as far too many today are already lost…Now this link is from You Tube and is fair game as it is available to the public study this Priest whose name I will not mention here…The reason I did not bother to name these men is to make a point…My message is this it does not matter who or what you are when altars like these are profaned by vile scandals no amount of goodwill can fix that…Both of these men represent the mystical wine pouring themselves out into putrid mystical wine skins which in this case is the profane altars of their profane cult like church…To view this YouTube live mass click on the link which will take you to YouTube to watch it…I noticed that when I click on it here I get a message that it was disabled by the owner…Which I the author of this blog has zero control over…Thank you to all my readers and followers for following my creative writing and creative work as a work of art…………

A good example of the blind leading the blind – A Mystical wine poured out into a Mystically damaged wine skin on profane altars…

As a thank you for reading my reflection and creative writing peace my mystical assessment of the blind leading the blind…Enjoy my videos of my song titled True Grit about my climb up Croagh Patrick and footage of my rescue and my song titled Crooked road inspired by the Msgr. who writes the blog I shared…I also include my song titled My unholy communion which be warned contains profanity in the form of cuss words…So if cussing offends you then don’t listen to it…My you tube is for adult audiences only and my Unholy Communion song is for ages 18 and above…So if you are under the age of 18 do not listen to my song titled Unholy Communion…I am not responsible for lost sheep parents who fail to guide their youth to avoid adult matters…I also include Mystical songs that I wrote about my struggles in different languages…In these songs I mystically give thanks for my struggles that I do not understand yet made me who I am today. I also include my song titled False Celibate Man addressing these vicious wolves sheep’s clothing who virtue pose and virtue signal yet rape boys mostly boys and girls in the dark………….

In these songs I Mystically give thanks for the struggles I do not understand but made me who I am today…………
Addressing Profane Altars
Crooked Road addresses the crooked roads of profane lives lived and gone horribly wrong…………
…………Addressing False Celibate men horrible beastly wolves in sheep’s clothing who rape boys mostly boys and girls…………

https://vimeo.com/user29135762/download/284379901/2c3d80f256?fbclid=IwAR07FOaKIML96pBtqXIXSLL7Wobrb-9bo8XZr-99YB7u0drWdHXt345dw7Q — To view this vimeo footage of my rescue from Croagh Patrick you will have to download it to watch my rescue that made it to national Television in both Ireland and the UK last year…

True Grit – My Mystical victory over my own many limitations…………