It Must Be Felt – A Reflection

This poem titled It Must Be Felt was authored by Akiane kramarik at age 10 in her book titled My Dream Is Bigger Than I – Memories of Tomorrow – Part Four Page 142 “You will need your own copy of this book to view the full text of this poem.  I limit quotes for the purpose of discussion and to follow copyright guidelines that allows for limited quotes.”

This poem consists of four stanzas with four lines each…The photograph I choose for this reflection was a selfie I took during my stay at a very nice modest hotel in William Butler Yeats country in Ireland…It was during that stay that I received the inspiration to write my song titled Princes Of Breifne which is both a Tin Whistle Tune that I wrote and a song that I wrote both titled Princes Of Breifne…What I love about Akiane’s poetry is the depth and breath of her prose…At the age of ten her poems are astounding…I will now quote a part of this amazing poem…”like drained water stepped-over love never feels safe” – Wow this is from the first stanza…It is so true that there is a lot of false love in the world and false love is a losing game…One of the songs I wrote is titled False Love Is A Losing Game…I will continue to quote small parts of this great poem…”What a useless chasing repentant attitude”…This is from the second stanza and to me the reader of this great poem and author of this review in the form of reflections…This line speaks about the false repentance many do a great job of showcasing including lining up for confession and in the days of Covid-19 these show offs line up in their cars for drive through confessions…Many Roman Catholics do this they are notorious for showing off and boasting about how wonderful they are and how wonderful their preachers are and their constant show of confessions which is a bad show…It is a laughing stock really because few of them really change…Many of them not just Roman Catholics many from all walks of life seldom ever really do change…So It Must Be Felt the centuries of birth control will be felt the billions destroyed by contraception and abortion will be felt…How it will be felt is simple – mankind is now being forced to stay home with their families and by virtue of this these creatures are forced to think about their lives…The mettle of their existing relationships in marriage and family will be tested and many will end up separating and or divorcing…Many will grow stronger in their marital bonds…Many families already not close and toxic will be torn apart because the truth is many cannot stand each other and being forced to stay home will be the straw that breaks the camel’s back of these false marriages and toxic relationships…Akiane writes in the third stanza…”the secrets of immortality lie within the simple dust”…We were created from dust with immortal souls our immortality lies in our ability to love and to be loved in an immortal manner…Such as fearlessly and without question birthing however many children the God of life sends to married couples or couples in committed unions…Our road to heaven depends on our ability to be immortal in our love…Do we love one another as the true Jesus Christ Loved us…Many today fall short of immortal holy love…Many today shed innocent blood on the altar of birth control contraception abortion and vile willful sterilizations…As such the love of couples like that is ungodly unholy and profanes the name of the God of life…When couples get married in all seven churches around the world who are living together already using birth control such as contraception their marriages become profane ungodly unholy and profanes the name of the God of life whose name they do grave evil in…To get married in the name of the God of life while using vile birth control in any way shape or form is to profane the name of God…Marriages like these in all seven churches are profane and grotesque and take the name of the God of life in vain…The God of life knows not couples who profane his name with vile birth control and other wicked satanic practices hell bent on destroying the fertility of these heinous lost couples who are the lost sheep of this lost age…Most families have lost relatives to vile birth control and abortion…I know I lost at least one niece or nephew to vile birth control and abortion in my family…Akiane writes in the last stanza “we do not need a reason to be happy we do not need a calling to be happy” This is very true we do not need much to be happy…Many today are addicted and neurotic…Many today are narcissists and as such are addicted to narcissistic supply which many narcissists who are pathological narcissists feed off of to feed their own fragile damaged egos…I will tell you a short story now to highlight ways narcs or narcissists operate…In this short story I write this based on actual events but I make no claims as to statements of facts and instead write this short story as a work of fiction based on actual events…I will not mention any names or identifying details to respect the privacy of all parties involved…The title of my short story is:

The Fake Homeless Man

This story took place in Ireland…Enough Said…

A narcissistic medical doctor responsible for the care of many patients and well liked and respected in his village for his work and social status…Married well a lovely tall woman and together they birthed at least four lovely children and the lovely wife suffered at least one miscarriage which was a tragedy they never expected but dealt with like many other couples do…On paper this couple looks excellent why? – The wife is a midwife and the husband a highly qualified medical doctor…This power couple can swing opinions in the magazines and journals and they have friends in all the right high places…Including a power broker journalist among their ranks within their own family ties…The wife states that she personally would never have an abortion but aggressively votes for abortion and was a large part of the yes vote to vote abortion on demand into Ireland…The medical doctor husband has a devoted father who is also a well liked and well respected medical doctor who retired on the cusp of the abortion vote in Ireland…A young woman living in this small village and who was new to the area established care with both father and son who were in practice together for both herself and her own child…The father had the same name as the son which was confusing and this medical practice had two secretaries with the exact same name…Also very confusing for new patients…When care was initially established the father accepted this new patient and he was very surprised a young woman choose to live in his small village so naturally he saw fit to question her about why she moved to the area…She saw fit to give no particular reason for her move and to limit the question and answer session to purely medical reasons…The father was a kind man who worked hard to care for all of his patients including his new patients…The subject of abortion came up in terms of how Ireland’s medical professionals are faced with another blood bath many do not want to be a part of…This father a medical doctor looked his new patient in the eyes and angrily declared that it is mostly the women in Ireland who want these terrible abortions and he himself could not wrap his mind around that one…His new patient could tell that this kind and gentle older medical doctor was very angry over the injustice of abortion laws…Obliging and forcing medical doctors who oppose this to refer patients for abortion and to God forbid perform these abortions…Shortly afterwards when the yes vote won abortion on demand in Ireland…This kind and gentle soul the father retired from his own medical practice that he devoted his whole life through hard work blood sweat and tears to establish…Leaving it to his son with the same name to run…This new patient was then obliged to see the son for medical needs…For both herself and her growing child…The son also seemed to be kind like his father and seemed to care about his patients too…The doctor visits for this young woman were simple standard check ups and care for small concerns such as Tinea Pedis which is athlete’s foot which this active patient got frequently…This doctor exhibited some concerning behaviors such as telling his new patient that she was “a fine woman” and that he was the same age as herself…If his patient was grandiose or narcissistic she might have been tempted to believe this man liked her…However, this patient had years of experience in dealing with the highly educated narc or narcissist…While providing this medical doctor with her medical history including how she became pregnant…For purposes of creating a medical file for the proper standard of care to be provided her…This doctor rolled his eyes crossed his arms and made a strange comment personalizing the impersonal…Medical histories though very personal to the patient are run of the mill documentations that doctors do regularly as do their nurses…This doctor said “I did not expect that from you with your pregnancy history you do this to me now.” This was very odd again because this was for her medical history nothing more and nothing less…The patient ignored this odd behavior and continued seeking care as needed with a business as usual attitude…One day this new patient requested over the phone from staff a call in relation to her child who is asthmatic…The medical doctor called and spoke to his new patient about her child and what to do…That was very helpful and the conversation should have been limited to a five minute call about her child…Full Stop…This doctor appeared to be well meaning but proceeded to make grandiose statements to his new patient…He stated that she should write a book and that one day she may have her own personal driver…Also he instructed her to walk her dog…That was strange and the patient simply ignored those grandiose comments…This seemingly well meaning doctor was fascinated with how his new patient’s brain worked…So he asked her things about how she organized her home and her ability to find things once organized…While he was right on target with how her brain functions that phone call was supposed to be limited to her child not her…That doctor focused on the mother the patient not the child who was also a patient at the time…Now clearly this medical doctor is a doctor for a reason he is highly intelligent..His new patient had a dog and walked her dog regularly around the village…That doctor observed her doing this as a way of staying fit and active and maintaining her over all well being including sound mental health…This odd doctor would sometimes greet his new patient while out with her dog when he was coming or going from his practice…The new patient simply replied with a polite response and kept moving…This explains perhaps why this odd doctor instructed his patient to walk her dog that day…Now in that small village a very bad man and horrible women were busy gossiping about their new neighbor and went so far as to try to attack the mental health and well being of this young woman…This was done behind her back by vicious wolves in sheep’s clothing hell bent on destroying that small woman…These verbal vicious attackers were so aggressive that they demanded their local doctor demand this woman get a mental health check…This GP medical doctor – GP means General Practice similar to primary care doctors in America…Had his back against the wall and he did ask his patient to consider getting her mental health examined and he quickly added that she should do this to cover her own ass…He literally used the word ass…That seemingly well meaning doctor wrote a letter recommending a mental health check be done…The clinic that received that letter gave the patient the option and the patient politely declined the offer…The patient proceeded to request a copy of the letter to the clinic and their response from that GP…Both of his secretaries who both have the same first name…Would instruct their patient to stop by at times when their office was closed or when she did stop by to pick up the letter as instructed both secretaries would say they did not have the letter…It seemed to this patient that mind games were being played and also that this type of mistreatment was a vile effort to incite within the patient an angry response so as to destabilize the patient in a vile effort to present her as mentally unstable due to anger…After a number of failed attempts to get copies of these letters…The patient who was busy working from home and travelling Europe with her child…Decided to wait to see what would happen next…What happened next was this…That GP sent his patient a letter demanding that a mental health check be done which put pressure on the patient who did not need her mental health checked…Rather than feed the frenzied momentum started by horrible people…This little lady proceeded to go to a larger hospital system in Ireland with her child…She told no one in her small village she was doing this and she requested and volunteered to have a thorough mental health assessment done…She was seen by a team of mental health professionals who witnessed that both mother and child were doing very well…This woman was given the all clear after a two and a half hour thorough mental health screening which included observations made of her interactions with her child…Upon receiving the all clear this little lady followed up with the local GP who apologized that he had to do that…She also followed up with the clinic who likewise accepted that her mental health was sound as a bell…Now to get a copy of the letter written by her GP to that clinic the patient had to be strategic…In Ireland private medical practices are not regulated so secretaries can do as they please and get away with it…So this little lady simply scheduled a follow up appointment with her very odd GP…During that appointment the patient appealed to the ego of her narcissistic GP…She simply stated that she owed that man an apology for becoming upset about his well meaning thorough standard of care for his patient. She stated that she was sorry about that and asked him to accept her apology. That man was not used to anyone apologizing to him for a thing…So rolling his eyes and arms crossed he accepted his patients sincere apology and stated that due to privacy policies in place he could not give her a copy of the letter…That response translated into this…That man needed to be sure that his patient would not complain about him which she reassured him she would not file a complaint and that it was her hope to continue care from his fine practice…At which point that man got up and personally handed his patient a copy of the letter…The letter was fine and his patient reassured this poor man that she had zero complaints…The letter was fine and the GP was simply being thorough full stop…Now during that time…The patient informed her GP doctor that an interesting conference on Narcissism was being held in Dublin and that he should consider attending for possible continuing education credits and to help him to advance in his understanding of patients who present as mentally ill but are in fact not mentally ill rather damaged from years of narcissistic abuse…That doctor expressed interest and stated he would try to attend…Now the patient forgot about her GP doctor and arranged for care for her dog and took her child to Dublin to attend that conference…This was the first conference of its kind in the world and it was being held in Dublin Ireland…This was a conference on narcissism…This little lady hired a child minder or babysitter for her child and attended that conference which was open to all walks of life…This woman knew to avoid any pursuit of interaction of any kind with the highly degree’d and highly paid professionals at that conference…She kept strictly to herself and focused on the people she wanted to meet and nothing else…She got to meet an amazing woman who wrote groundbreaking books about the dark triad of narcissism…She even managed to get one of those books signed by the author…The conference was excellent and well worth the effort…To travel this little mum took a combination of taxi and train to save on cost…This included riding on Dublin’s double decker buses which was a lot of fun for both mother and child…Where things got really weird was at the train station in Dublin waiting for the return train home…A man appeared out of nowhere and proceeded to stand and stare at this little mother and child…The child was eleven years old then…The child told his mum that this odd man recognized them and walked over to stare at them…This was very odd and not typical particularly the getup of this man…He was wearing a convincing holly wood quality homeless costume…Now this was atypical for a number of reasons…That man stood and stared at both mother and child for twenty minutes…Both the mother and child checked him out thoroughly…There was no body odor which is typical of homeless people…You see this little lady had volunteered at homeless shelters over the years and worked with the homeless…Homeless people do not draw attention to themselves and do not gawk at people they do not know…That man recognized that mother and child…The mother observed that the height and beady eyes and color and hair not covered by this amazing costume matched the description of her GP doctor to a T. The man never spoke he just stared with his legs apart sending vibes that were weird as if he admired that mother…Both mother and son declared out loud that this man was not well that he was homeless and that he appeared to look like their GP doctor…The mum declared it must be his homeless brother who is not well and that the poor man was not doing any harm…The mum said that he would get tired of staring and move on…That is precisely what happened…The odd man who was carrying a briefcase walked away…Now besides the mother and child who witnessed that strange interaction no one else saw this…The thing to do was to forget about the fake homeless man…For to mention that strange tale to anyone would not make sense to sound minds…Besides a story like that would be fodder for those wanting to present this little mother as mentally unstable…Truth is often stranger than fiction…That little mother returned home and continued her small life business as usual…The GP doctor and his staff continued their odd ways…A staff member claimed a prescription that their patient this little mum needed for her child was already sent to be filled but was not filled obliging this mum to pick up the prescription herself which should have been done in the first place…One time upon requesting a service that was needed a member of staff told this little patient personal details about the GP as to his whereabouts which was not asked or needed…This patient ended up needing to move to another country so she ended her time and her care in that small village on the best of terms possible given the circumstances…After she moved to another country she was able to obtain written proof that a horrible man tried to falsely claim that she was not mentally stable…She then provided this written evidence to the local law enforcement and her former GP for their records…The lesson from this tale is this…Never let narcissistic men or women get space in your head…Had this small woman and mother been prone to grandiosity she could have been destroyed by narcs or narcissists around her…Keep it simple stupid is a powerful acronym to live by…

…The End…

As a thank you for reading this reflection enjoy my songs titled False Love Is A Losing Game inspired by Amy Winehouse and my song titled Back To White which I wrote for the me too movement…The Princes of Breifne which was inspired from my time in Yeats Country…