Where Do I Turn? – A Reflection

This poem titled Where Do I Turn? was authored by Akiane kramarik at age 10 in her book titled My Dream Is Bigger Than I – Memories of Tomorrow – Part Four Page 141 “You will need your own copy of this book to view the full text of this poem.  I limit quotes for the purpose of discussion and to follow copyright guidelines that allows for limited quotes.”

This poem titled Where Do I Turn consists of four stanzas with six lines each…The photograph I choose for this reflection is of myself petting two lovely dolphins during our time in Lanzarote in the Canary Islands…Dolphins are highly emotionally intelligent and are excellent communicators among themselves and with humans who understand how to work with and train dolphins…One of the dolphins I petted is very old..For this photograph to work I had to be very careful…I had to place my hands strategically on the rock so that the intelligent friendly well trained dolphins could swim up and rest their snouts to allow me the adoring human to pet them…My son got to pet dolphins during our time in Portugal…So this time my son did not want to pet dolphins again so I decided it was my turn and it was a wonderful experience…I enjoyed this experience as this was my very first time petting dolphins…Dolphins in captivity have no place to turn and as such they depend on their human captors to take good care of them…In this case it seems that these Dolphins are very well cared for…I wonder if Dolphins and humans spoke the same language would Dolphins ask for therapy and counseling to overcome their traumatic experiences in dealing with well meaning adoring humans as well as the horribly mean not so nice or well meaning humans…I wonder would the Dolphins declare along with all of the animal kingdom held in captivity by well meaning adoring humans that they have stockholm syndrome and that this explains why these amazing creatures have indeed bonded with their captors for survival…Food for thought…I will now quote just the first stanza of this remarkable poem…”The farthest person I feel is the closest facing me–The rock is finished I did not carve. And the inheritance gazes at the inheritance–The shelter itself may be the enemy. In the cities of the mind–the iron chariots…” Wow this floors me this poem is amazing to read the whole poem you will need to purchase your very own copy of this amazing book from Akiane online…There is a line from the second stanza that I would like to quote as well…Akiane writes “I switch caterpillars for the turning vines. In the distance of malachite hills I see their hazel eyes…” That is a portion of the second stanza not all of it…This poem really speaks to me the reader and author of this review in the form of reflections…As a child I used to love caterpillars I was fascinated by the ability of the caterpillar to metamorphosis into a lovely butterfly…This so captivated me that I used to steal my beloved now deceased father’s match boxes…Remember the matchboxes that contained matches that our parents would use to light up their cigarettes or cigars like my Late Uncle John who loved a good Cigar or to light the gas stove…Well I would empty out the matches and put my caterpillar in the match box…I was five years old and had no understanding of the concept that these living creatures needed air to breath and lots of food in the form of yummy green leaves…At five years old I could not pronounce the word caterpillar…I called them very affectionately too Capertiffs….Yes at five years old I could not pronounce the word caterpillar so I called them capertiffs….I write out the world phonetically for my readers to understand my inability at the age of five to pronounce the very big word caterpillar which for many five year old children is a big word…My father would grab a match box open it up for a match to light up his cigarette and he would be shocked to find oh my Lord a caterpillar there and by then the poor critter was dead…You see it took me a number of tries with my beloved capertiffs in matchboxes to understand that my beloved creatures could not survive the matchbox…In my five year old mind I thought that my capertiffs would magically turn into lovely butterflies…I was very sad when I learned that they had died…It took my father quite some time to figure out which one of his children was doing this…When he discovered it was me he was amazed by my ability to grasp the concept of metamorphosis at such a young age…Though my matchbox experiment was terribly rudimentary and failed miserably my father discovered that his five year old daughter who was already a year ahead in the Irish School system and receiving ribbons for excellence in her school work was very bright…My father had a serious wee chat with meself about why these poor capertiffs as I called them could not survive in the matchbox…Of course I was asked to leave the match boxes alone which I did after that…I apologized to my poor innocent subjects for the matchbox ordeal and while my fascination with caterpillars remains to this day…I leave it to mother nature to care for and allow these fascinating creatures to metamorphosis without any interference from myself a well meaning idiotic adoring human…In America I discovered the wonderful dark brown fuzzy furry caterpillars…By the time I discovered these I was a young woman…I loved to pick them up and pet them and bless them and praise them for their ingenious design and then I would always gently put them back on the ground…Not every caterpillar is safe to pet so by all means do exercise caution and diligently research your caterpillar before petting it…Some Caterpillars have venomous spikes that can irritate human skin…Thank goodness I avoided the caterpillars with venom…Did you know that in Australia the very popular American movie about a spider called Charlotte’s Web is banned or at least was banned for a long time…Charlotte’s web is a very cute movie that I love watching about an ingenious spider…However, in Australia many spiders are very dangerous and venomous there hence the need to ban a movie that suggests that unwary innocent adoring humans particularly our children should befriend spiders…With nature and in life it is wise to be cautious…Now back to this amazing poem…The first stanza describes “the cities of the mind”…This speaks to me about the war of words and psychological warfare that exists around the world that literally alters the minds of the human subjects of such tyranny…Children who are verbally abused grow up in a fear based environment and as such are controlled by trauma in the form of trauma based control…I would know because my poor mother not knowing better perpetuated a vicious cycle of machine gun style verbal abuse in our home making our home more like a prison of the mind from a war of words unfurled by my poor mother…My mother was not well and has not been well for years…It was machine gun style verbal abuse that my mother got as a wee child in the Irish School system in the 1930’s 1940’s and 1950’s…That destroyed my poor mother from the inside and set her up to perpetuate the same vicious cycle of abuse…This is what systemic abuse that went on for Centuries not just in Ireland but around the world did to the children…Native American children were also placed in industrial governmental schools here in the USA and made to feel toxic shame for being Indian…Irish children were placed in industrial governmental schools and also filled with toxic shame for the crime of being Indigenous Irish Children no different than the Native American Child likewise hated and filled with toxic shame for the crime of being an indigenous Indian Child…In the art of war if you can destroy the children you destroy whole generations…The art of war perfected the art of annihilating whole nations with their vile abortion laws and contraception laws and birth control laws rampant in China and other parts of the world…The child of this lost modern age has no place to turn no one to defend it the womb that is supposed to be the safest place in the world for that unborn child is now a war zone a military base of militant horrible women who have forgotten their own unborn children…Couples get married all the time yet many refuse to beget or have children or choose to use birth control to limit the births of their children forgetting that by destroying their own fertility and offspring they destroy their own inheritance…The indigenous tribes understand that children are the real inheritance for human beings…No amount of money land property and power lasts an eternity because when we die we all die naked we all die homeless and none of the wealth status property and power can go where we go when we die…Death is a powerful equalizer…When we die we are all the same before the throne of the God of life…In the art of war a psychological war was unfurled which altered the minds of millions around the world…Setting men and women up to become mentally ill…Many today have sociopath psychopathy in their mental makeup and those who fit this bill are often very narcissistic…Now I am not a mental health professional however I will mention a woman for whom I have great respect and whom I encourage my readers who would like to learn more about narcissism to study…I had the privilege of receiving a counseling session with this woman and I met her in person in Dublin at the first conference of its kind in the world focused exclusively on narcissism and the dark triad of pathological narcissism so rampant today particularly in domestic abuse and domestic violence cases…Her name is and she deserves a drum roll so drum roll first please…Moment of silence too…Why not?…This woman is amazing and her story is awe inspiring…Christine Louise de Canonville I include a link to a website about Christine and her ground breaking work…I encourage my readers to buy her books as I did…I got one of my books signed by Christine at that conference in Dublin…https://narcissisticbehavior.net/ – As a thank you for reading this review in the form of a reflection…I will include some of Christine’s You Tube talks on Narcissism…Christine was the only woman who was able to notice that I returned to Ireland for a reason to find myself…Christine told me that many who suffered as we….I say we because Christine also suffered a lot as a child which is part of her own incredible story and journey…Often travel far and wide to find ourselves…I returned to Ireland and it is in my own homeland that my healing process was completed and I did indeed find myself…Thank you Christine Louise de Canonville for helping me to see that…Christine has a big heart and Christine was very receptive to feedback that I was allowed to provide her with…I am eternally grateful I got to meet this amazing fearless woman a warrior in her own right for the cause of healing for so many of us affected by systemic abuse particularly the fallout of of systemic abuse perpetuated by innocent parents like my own poor mother…Also as a thank you for reading this reflection I include a song I wrote about my miraculous climb or ascent to the very top of Croagh Patrick which for me was no easy task as I have fibromyalgia…Which for those who suffer from fibromyalgia – you understand the chronic pain and discomfort of this terrible often debilitating condition..Tis true I had to be rescued from Croagh Patrick…I was interviewed by Bernie Boss’s Media team and my rescue was aired on National TV in both Ireland and the UK fairly recently…I include footage of that rescue too at the end of this reflection…To view this footage you will need to download it and watch it and allow time for the silent film to pass first…I have included one of Christine’s amazing talks titled Narcissistic Victim Syndrome which is around 45 minutes long…I hope that Christine’s work will help many people because Christine transformed my life and helped me to complete my own remarkable miraculous healing process…For all therapists understand this that for many therapists there is a gap in your training which Christine highlights…Many therapists can be narcissistic too and many in the medical field can be very narcissistic…I would know because when I was a head hunter for intelligence which included trips to other states including Washington DC…I was hit on by narcissistic highly paid professionals in the medical profession who were doctors who were married…I was very young then fresh out of college myself…I had to act stupid in the presence of these awful male medical doctors and focus exclusively on their curriculum vitae’s and the purpose of their visit to my booth at the conferences I worked at…My coworkers admired my ability to dodge many a bullet from narcissistic highly paid medical professionals…Who were often highly degree’d with both MD board certifications plus law degrees…These highly intelligent highly educated men and some women are often very narcissistic and are literally not capable of accepting correction from any other man woman or child who dares to oppose them or to correct them…To avoid many pitfalls I acted stupid in their presence and totally ignored as non existent any advances made by these horrible men…These men would grow weary of me and eventually walk away…If I made the grave mistake of responding to their advances in any way shape or form…These creeps would have annihilated and destroyed my character leaving me emotionally raped and torn to shreds with no amount of dignity left to my name…I understood this very well and I had a clear understanding of my role at these conferences which was very small…I knew my place and I adhered to my role my job and my place extremely well…I never drew attention to myself and ignored as non existent any advances made by these highly intelligent narcs or narcissists…Enjoy my song titled True Grit where I sing about what Croagh Patrick means to me…To view the footage of my rescue from Croagh Patrick simply click on this vimeo link download it and watch…Thank you for reading this reflection…I dedicate this reflection to Christine Louise de Canonville – The greatest woman on earth whom I had the blessed privilege of meeting…Christine since we are not narcissists I beg your forgiveness for boasting about how wonderful you are…Apologies I cannot help myself because your work changed my life so much for the better and helped me to complete my own remarkable healing process…Your work helps me to accept and love my own poor mother unconditionally…I cannot thank you enough for this great gift…The gift of unconditional holy love and holy forgiveness which your work has helped me to do for my own poor mother God love her and God help her…I say God help us all…Your work Christine is a God Send…Heaven help us all….Download and watch my rescue here… https://vimeo.com/user29135762/download/284379901/2c3d80f256?fbclid=IwAR07FOaKIML96pBtqXIXSLL7Wobrb-9bo8XZr-99YB7u0drWdHXt345dw7Q