The Day I was Born – A Reflection

This poem titled The Day I Was Born was authored by Akiane kramarik at age 8 in her book titled My Dream Is Bigger Than I – Memories of Tomorrow – Part Two Page 62. “You will need your own copy of this book to view the full text of this poem. I limit quotes for the purpose of discussion and to follow copyright guidelines that allows for limited quotes.”

The Day I was born consists of three stanzas with three very short lines each.  The photograph I choose for this reflection is a photo of my own son on the day of his birth.  My son was born 8:07 am…I predicted to my friends that I would go into labor at three in the morning and that no one would be around or able to help me that I was meant to do this alone…What I prophesied happened…I went into labor at three in the morning and as soon as I knew that my water broke at 3 am.  I drove myself to the local hospital…I could not get in the main entrance door due to it being after 3 in the morning.  I had to call The hospital and staff had to come down to find me in the parking lot because during my prenatal care and checkups there I had no idea where their Emergency Room Entrance was.  I was placed in a wheelchair and escorted to maternity.  My water had already broken…I do not recommend doing what I did then..I had no one to help me so I drove myself to the hospital to give birth to my son…I had a wonderful midwife named Martha Goedert who happened to be working the time I was there.  Martha was wonderful and she helped me through the entire birthing process.  I had established care with Martha the midwife prior to the birth of my son so Martha was already familiar with my pregnancy…I requested a midwife because I was sick and tired of horrible doctors asking me to get my tubes tied after birth and suggesting a c-section without waiting to see if a c-section was even needed…Martha took excellent care of me and I gave birth with no epidural or medicine of any kind.  After lots of screaming which is normal for birthing mothers I birthed my baby boy.  Martha gave me the opportunity to cut the umbilical cord myself.  I declined because I was exhausted from the birthing process.  Besides needing some stitches from pushing my child out of my birth canal both my baby boy and I did fantastic thanks to Martha and the staff at that hospital.  At that moment abandoned by friends and family with no one to help me and the father of my child long gone…I dedicated my child to the God of Life.  I baptized my child the moment of his birth.  I dedicated my child to my God the God of life…Nothing in heaven or on earth can change this for I did this myself the moment of my child’s birth…I had already dedicated my child to the God of life when he was growing in my womb so the dedication at birth was a formality…I will now discuss the poem by Akiane titled The Day I Was Born…Though this poem is very short it is very profound.  The I in this poem is the Child who speaks and says that on the day this child was born this child met himself or herself.  The child then tells how on the day it was born it met it’s young mother.  The last stanza then goes on to say how on the day it was born the child met Jesus sleeping in it’s cradle.  Very profound and I wonder what the last message means.  To me the reader it is so true that on the day we are born we do meet ourselves and we do meet our birth mothers.  Even babies given up for adoption meet their birth mothers for a moment after the birthing process.  Now the meaning behind Jesus lying in the cradle of the child is mystery to me.  It could mean that Christ is there to greet this new born child.  Or if the new born child died at birth then Christ is there in place of the child.  The beauty of poetry like Akiane’s is the reader can interpret her prose in a way that it speaks to them.  I do not have all the answers and the way I reflect on these does not have to match the way others reflect on these poems.  That is the beauty of poetry and prose.  The readers are free to interpret on a very individual level how these poems speak to them.  In any case it is a lovely poem and to me it speaks about the beauty of child birth and the enrichment children bring to society.   A society or culture that values children has more wisdom than the wisdom of King Solomon in the scriptures.  However, a society or culture that discards children like garbage or trash has no wisdom for they discarded their wisdom long ago when they enact unjust laws that allow for abortion on demand.  There is no wisdom found in a culture of death.  Instead all you find is bloodshed that has now turned into an ocean of blood of dead children dead babies not wanted because they are not convenient.  I wonder will mankind ever learn to ask the question how did we get to this?  Over the centuries and time and space children were destroyed from the days of Jesus Christ to this day.  King Herod Ordered the slaughter of the firstborn males during the time of Jesus Christ’s birth.  So child killing has gone on for a long time.  However, now via abortion on demand the slaughter of the innocents has taken on a whole new level and the ocean of blood of dead babies is overwhelming.  Whole nations have been annihilated and destroyed and whole futures were literally stolen.  This also means that legacies were destroyed and family bloodlines were likewise destroyed as was the inheritance the God of life planned for these families.   Their inheritance of children who would make the world a better place has been robbed and stolen from families.  The results are devastating.  When we look around today we see a lot of comfort and in the Western world in particular a quality of life surpassing the lifestyle of the ancient Romans.  Yet we are also surrounded by devastation an ocean of blood of dead children worldwide whose number are in the billions.  We cannot see the blood of aborted children therefore their deaths are invisible to many.  Also their blood is invisible to many as well for this reason the world has not yet learned to lament the annihilation of the nations via abortion and contraception – the war on the womb.  Out of sight out of mind is the mindset of many people living today.  If they do not have to see it or hear of it then they can ignore the problem.   That works for a time but it is a very poor very inept coping mechanism that fails over time.  The abortion industry is like the elephant in the room that has been whitewashed or painted white.  Many ignore this horrible elephant until the abortion industry affects their own families directly or indirectly then many are in shock.  Most families around the world have been impacted by abortion and contraception.  Few families if any have escaped the horrors of the war on the womb.  I speak about my family briefly here.  My family was raised to believe in a higher power a God a creator of this mighty frame.  My family was also religious and involved in organized religion.  My parents to their credit had eight children and it never occurred to my parents to limit the births of their children.  They welcomed every single one of us with open arms and lots of love.  My mother suffered at least one miscarriage that I am aware of.  Not certain if she lost more than one baby to miscarriage.  I know that she did lose one baby to miscarriage which was understandably very hard for our mother.  Now our family had it’s share of problems.  However, my parents were devoted to each other there was no infidelity or affairs.  However, king alcohol did have a grip on my father and so an affair with king alcohol did take place and caused a lot of harm in our home.  Alcohol addiction is terrible and does a lot of damage.  All the same my father was a gentle and kind man and he was a good provider.  We never went hungry and our needs for food and shelter were well met.  Spiritually and emotionally however, my mother was simply unable to provide much spiritual and emotional support since my mother herself was in many respects spiritually and emotionally bankrupt.   If my mother was in the wrong or did something wrong she never apologized for it.  Never once did my mother ever humble herself before her children and apologize for any wrongdoing on her part.  At least when it came to me she never apologized.  My mother was not well spiritually and emotionally for a number of reasons.  All the same my mother despite this made certain that her eight children were well fed at all times clothed and housed.  My father the same.  This stood to me so that despite our problems I learned from the best of them when it came to living on a budget and running a home.  I put myself through six years of college working many jobs along the way.  I learned that in order to manage I would have to become a good provider.  Be able to provide because my parents taught me the valuable lesson at a young age that I cannot grow up and expect to depend on a husband to provide for me.  They told me those days are gone and it would be best if I and all eight of us children learned how to become good providers.  That really stuck with me and it is why I pursued six years of higher level education.  This also explains why I worked very hard over the years from my early 20’s onwards.  I got my first job at age 15 and never looked back.  I started out waitressing and worked hard from there.  During my college years I made the decision not to date because I knew I had to complete my education.  I ended up dating my junior year in college and thank God my partner and I had enough sense to know we could not handle too much physical intimacy so we simply held hands often and talked a lot.  We had many conversations and the companionship was a wonderful experience.  We never crossed the line into more activity because we both knew we could not handle that then.  I was 19 years old a Junior in college and I travelled that year to China for an educational experience.  It was a private trip where I stayed with a host family.  I enjoyed my time in Hong Kong and it was an eye opening experience for me.  However, as the years passed and my first relationship ended as happens often with young people.  I experienced a tumultuous period in my life.  I rebelled for a time and became a party girl.  I went out a lot however I always paid my way and if I could not afford something I simply did not get it.  I never allowed a man to buy me a drink ever.  I followed certain rules and lived by them.  One of those rules was that if I had a beverage or a drink and looked away from that drink then I was to buy a new drink.  I followed that rule to a T.  I never carried much money so that if I was robbed the robber would be sorely disappointed.  I was robbed once and the funny part the woman who ransacked my purse to rob me must have felt sorry for me because she did not take all of my small stash of cash.  She left me a little as well.  A very funny true story.  She took thirty dollars and left me with 12 dollars.  I thought that is a robber with a conscience.  Yes thieves have a conscience believe it or not.  I was lucky my purse was not totally stolen altogether and I was grateful I was able to get my purse intact with all the other important contents intact.  I was not so lucky another time.  My vehicle was broken into and my diaper bag of all things was stolen.  There was around twenty dollars in my diaper bag so not much cash.  The cost of repairing my vehicle and replacing the items in my diaper bag was far greater to me than the items stolen.  Thieves do not think about the cost of their actions.  That to get a few dollars or gain more money or things by stealing ends up costing the people they rob much more than the small gain they get.  I never found my diaper bag and of course I reported the theft but nothing came of it.  I mention my experience with thieves because we have all been robbed in various ways.  I was robbed of many things from youth on up.  When I became pregnant with my child I had enough sense to know that this was a child growing in my womb and there was no way I was letting anyone or organization rob me of the fruit of my womb.  I had enough sense to know that.  Being a mother comes with it’s unique set of challenges and becoming a mother brought me to my knees.  Being a parent is not easy.  However, I thank God daily that I had enough sense to keep my child.  I get to know my child every day and it is an awesome experience watching my child grow.  There are challenges along the way.  However, I would not change a thing.  My child has challenged me and forced me by virtue of motherhood to grow up and accept responsibilities and to get the help I needed to become a better human being.  Prior to becoming a mother I was in my own world and very selfish too.  All this has changed thanks to my child.  Now when my child was growing in my womb I knew that this was a baby.  I would sing to my child in my womb I would rub my womb with my hands as my child was growing over those 9 months.  I would speak to my child and tell my child that I was looking forward to meeting my child.  When I discovered the sex of my child I then immediately knew what I would name my child.  In fact the night before my child was born.  I received interior knowledge that my child was ready to be born and that I was to rest.  Also prior to the birth of my child I told the people in my life back then that I received interior knowledge that I would go into labour at 3am in the morning.  That no one would be around to help me then as much as these people wanted to be present they would not be present.  Everything unfolded the way I described it.  I rested the night before.  I literally woke up to an interior voice telling me get up your water is about to break and get yourself to hospital.  This was 3am.  Sure enough I got up my water broke and I had to get myself to hospital.  Due to the time of the morning I drove myself to the hospital.  No one was available at the main entrance and so I called the hospital from my cell phone.  The hospital was shocked that I was in their parking lot.  I wondered about this since this was the hospital that followed me for my prenatal care.  All the same they sent a worker down to guide me to the ER entrance and I was put in a wheelchair and escorted to the delivery room.  During my intense labour I received phone calls from some family members.  I told one member that I was in stage 2 labour and to not be concerned if I screamed.  I was extraordinarily calm throughout my pregnancy and birthing process.  This is remarkable because I am a single mother.  I had to go through all of this by myself.  It is true there were people who offered help and did what they could to provide support.  I remain grateful to those women.  These women meant well and did their best to be a support.  However, I was meant to go it alone.  I was meant to get myself to the hospital.  During my pregnancy I ensured that I received care from a midwife.  She was wonderful and was available later that night to aid in my birthing process.  While I was waiting for my midwife the nurses were very nervous as there was no doctor available at the time.  You see I showed up unannounced at 3am so I was not a scheduled delivery. The nurses told me not to push and I got bossy with the nurses and said never a tell a woman in labour not to push I said are you out of your minds.  I told the nurses to relax and I asked them do you know how to cut the umbilical cord?  They answered yes.  Of course these nurses knew this.  They were panicking just the same because they had no doctor present.  I proceeded to push and thank God my wonderful Midwife came and helped with the rest of the process.  She was a wonderful coach and I did not need any medicine such as an epidural or any further assistance with the birthing process.  The birth of my child was natural which is what I hoped for.  I would have preferred to give birth in my  home but due to my age and the risks thereof and since I was alone I had enough sense to ensure I was in hospital for the birth.  Also just in case an emergency C-Section was needed the hospital was the place to be.   My child had the perfect birthing position so no breach baby for me or C-Section needed and for this I remain grateful to this day.  However, that being said I would have undergone whatever it took to ensure the safe delivery of my baby.  If that meant a  C-Section then that is what I would have undergone.  This was my first child and I was 36 when I gave birth.  I was considered a high risk pregnancy due to my age and this being my first pregnancy.  However, the birth went very well and my midwife was awesome and the nurses were great too.  They all did a great job.  I was very excited to meet my child. My midwife asked me if I wanted to cut the umbilical cord myself after I expelled the placenta.  I said no to that and let her take care of that mess.  After four hours of intense labour I gave birth to a healthy baby.  My friends and family at the time were amazed my labour and birthing process went so well.  It did indeed go very well.  However, my journey to giving birth to my child was not easy and I sacrificed a lot to keep my child safe.  I moved from the East Coast to the Mid West to give my child and myself a fresh start in life and to keep us both safe.  I knew I was a single mother and I knew that would be difficult enough in and of itself so to avoid difficulties  with verbal abusers in my life I moved to an area where I knew no one and started over.  This was the best decision I could have made and it forced me to get the help I needed to get better and to get well again spiritually and emotionally.  As a new mother I did have post partum depression and a lot of anxiety as well.  I struggled as a new mother.  However, I got the help needed for both my child and myself and got well.  I remain grateful to this day for all the help we received.  On the day I gave birth to my child I was on my own and while there were well meaning women and men who tried to help me as best they could.  I was totally on my own.  No one in that group of well meaning men and women understood that I needed a lot of help.  So I reached out to a wonderful service that was available then to single mothers called respite service.  These people are angels.  They arranged to care for my new born infant to allow me the mother to rest as I was exhausted.  These angels cared for my child for two weeks.  This gave me the time and space I needed to move out of the area I was in and to relocate my child.  I did this successfully and moved to a neighbouring state.  That was a good move.  This respite was organized by the state I lived in at the time.  They simply met me on the way to our new home and I picked up my child and started our new life as mother and child.  Now I must say that the verbal abuse I got from women in organized religion in particular was heinous.  These horrible women saw me as a threat to their husbands and they treated me like trash.  They treated me like I was desperate for a man and not a safe woman due to the fact that I am a single mother.  I had no time to think about a man period.  I was too busy caring for my growing child and also working hard on getting myself better from post partum depression.  A man was the last thing on my mind.  Some women who were in organized religion and filled these Churches would tell me they thought I should never have more children.  The things they said to me were terrible.  Another woman who was very prideful told me that my chances of finding a husband were one in a million.  That I would have a better chance of finding a needle in a haystack.  What appalled me about these women was they were miserable and in bad marriages.  Many of them did not trust their own husbands which is insulting to their own devoted husbands.  These women insulted their own husbands by their lack of trust and they insulted me a single mother who had no time to even think about a man.  As the years passed.  I got better and learned how to be happy with what I have been given.  I took my child to a lot of places such as zoos and aquariums and beaches and such.  I enjoy raising my child and this keeps me plenty busy.  I have no time to this day to think about a man or a partner.  I am too busy doing what I need to do to ensure my child grows up big and strong and well rounded.  I tell my story here because from my perspective as a single mother,  I can appreciate and understand how women feel when they become pregnant.  Women often feel pressured to get an abortion.  Many women fear the public shame of being a single mother.  To this day this fear remains very real for women.  Also there is the expense involved in raising a child on your own.  None of it is easy.  So I can appreciate where many women are coming from when they become pregnant.  Especially if they were victims of coercion as was the case for me.  I was pursued by a man ten years older than myself who was in a position of authority over me.  This man was on a pedestal and I trusted him.  This man betrayed my trust and took advantage of me and got me pregnant.  The verbal abuse I received on account of this was horrendous and is why I left the area I was living in at the time.  As a single mother I understand very well the fear and trauma of facing the world on your own with a child in tow.  This is not easy.  I have had horrible women who are married tell me they feel sorry for me because I am a single mother.  These women see me as miserable and a sad story.  Yet these same women are insecure and miserable themselves and they are not able to trust their own spouses with whom they live with day in and day out.  My story is not a bed of roses.  Yet I have learned how to be happy and how to be grateful for the good things I have received.  I am content and whole just as I am.  From my perspective women who are married to good men whom these same women are unable to trust around other women like me are very sad indeed.  These women are pathetic and sad.  I have never had a married man aggressively pursue me.  Never have I had that happen.  Here is why.  I do not pursue men period.  I am too busy and have no time for that.  Also the married men I have encountered are decent and devoted to their wives this is why they are married.   It is the wives of these decent men that sabotage their own marriages when they view women like me as a threat and their inability to trust their own devoted husbands.  It is sad to see and I see it all the time.  To me these women are a sad and sorry lot and I avoid them like the plague.   The important thing for me is that I have learned how to be happy with what I have been given and for this I am very grateful.   To this day I never accept gifts or money from anyone and no man is ever allowed to buy me a beverage or drink.  I accept nothing and ask for nothing.  I pay my way and if I cannot afford something I simply do not get it.  It is very simple really.  This simple way of living helps me avoid many disasters.  You will not find me borrowing anyone’s husband for a thing or using men period.  I am better than this as are many women like me.  It is a sad tale to tell that many married women view women like me as desperate for a man and some married women have gone so far as to tell me that I can borrow their husband.  This has been said to me as well.  That woman’s poor husband was appalled and insulted and rightfully so.  I was insulted as well.  Goodness who in their right mind wants to get involved with that mess.  I simply don’t want the drama and I certainly do not want an angry wife at my door.  I would not blame that angry wife one bit as it is fully within the right of the wife to confront the woman who is involved with her husband.  I would do the same.  If I was married and my husband cheated I would bring all his unwashed laundry and such to his other woman and ask her to take care of it all and I would give her my husbands things all packed up and tell them both to have a nice life.  So yes it is ok for wives or husbands too for that matter to confront cheating spouses.  My point is this not every single mother is gunning for a man or desperate for a man.  This perception has to change as it is ridiculous.  All the same there are enough affairs that have gone on to warrant caution in dealing with single mothers.  I agree with this caution and I also exercise extreme caution in dealing with men and women period.  I am very careful around married couples and I avoid insecure couples like the plague.  I want no part with misery and I  most certainly have no interest in borrowing trouble.  I hope my perspective helps other women and men out there who struggle like the rest of us do.  Also for women experiencing pregnancy and who are alone.  I was in your shoes and yes I chose to keep my child and raise my child alone.  This is not always possible for women.  So if you are pregnant be not afraid to allow your child to live.  Did you know that many Native American women in America make the hard choice to allow their children to be adopted if they are unable to care for their children?  This practice is very common among Native American women.  In fact many Native American women will allow baby number four or five to be adopted if they find caring for this child is too hard to bear.  It is also ok not to want to meet your child if the burden is too great at the time.  Abortion is not the answer for many reasons.  You see you want to be able to give yourself the opportunity for a future with a partner who would be good for you.  So that if in the future you meet the man of your dreams you will be able to conceive and have children then.  Abortion robs you of your child even if this child is not wanted or planned abortion robs you of this child.  Adoption gives your child a future and affords you the dignity you deserve to move on with your life.  Birthing babies is a better option and a healthier option.  Abortion was never the answer.  Many women who have had an abortion regret and lament their decision.  Also many women are unable to have future children especially of the abortionist damages their cervix and uterus.  Many women haemorrhage from abortion and many women suffer from a perforated uterus and cervix.  This damage results in miscarriage in future pregnancies.  So while you are pregnant now and the world it seems is crashing down upon you.  Remember you are not a criminal and your child is not a criminal.  Adoption is a fine thing and there is no shame in making an adoption plan for your child.  During the 9 months of your pregnancy you can make an adoption plan.  Or if this proves too stressful for you simply birth the baby and arrange for the professionals to find a suitable home for your child.  While that decision is a hard decision you will be glad you chose to birth your child.  For the birthing option is the most natural and best option for both you the mother and your baby.  No you do not have to meet your baby if that is too hard for you.  However you do not have to be pressured into an abortion either.  The peer pressure and social pressure put on women today to abort their own children is tremendous and can be overwhelming at times.  Do not let this pressure define who you are as a mother and remember you are better than abortion.  You are a mother and you are not a criminal and neither is your child.  I myself do not participate in any organized religion due to the verbal abuse I got over the years.  I do my own thing down and I have learned how to be happy.  I am glad I choose to meet my child because my child has changed my life for the better and for this I am very grateful.  I hope my story helps.  If my story helps one woman out there struggling with pregnancy then I will have done some good.  To all the women who read this reflection.  Thank you for reading this and do not allow peer pressure or talking heads define who you are.  If you are pregnant you are a mother first and foremost and as a mother you will do what is best for you and your baby.  Do not allow others to influence your decision because you are the mother not them.  This is now between you and your baby you and your child.  You will make the best choice and come out triumphant in the end.  There is no shame in being pregnant and there is no shame in adoption.  Abortion was never the answer and many women who are pregnant mothers know this to be true.  I end with saying thank you to my own child for helping me to become the woman of God I am today.  I would not be where I am at today were it not for my own beloved child.  As a thank you for reading this reflection enjoy my section on YouTube titled prayers by the ocean…To me the ocean represents the ocean of mankind and how children are birthed through the oceanic waterways of the amniotic fluid of their own mother’s wombs….

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